Extraordinary Stories

Career Day

2012-01-30T14:35:00.000-06:00

When I was little I wanted to be a pediatrician. So I majored in music and got a music education degree and half a Master's in music performance so I could be a substitute teacher.

That's every little girl's dream, right?

The desire to be a physician stayed with me through my undergrad degree and in to graduate school, where it eventually changed in to a desire to be a sports medicine practitioner in the hopes of one day having a practice treating broken musicians. The two fields are very similar, believe it or not.

I went so far as signing up for some chemistry classes, then leaving Wichita, then signing up again for some science classes, then moving again, and trying a hundred more times to sign up for the core classes I'm missing to apply for medical school. I really thought I could do it.

So now I'm nearly 30, I have a daughter, and I live in Europe where it's not easy to take these core classes and I've convinced myself medical school is no longer in the cards. I don't have to give up on this particular dream, but I think it's over for me and medical school.

The day I got back in to a classroom I remembered how much I love teaching. The more I teach the kids I work with about college and choices leading up to college, the more I lean toward school counseling. Also I long to be more like Tami Taylor from Friday Night Lights so school counseling will edge me even closer to that goal. That and mega hair extensions. And a tummy tuck. But I already have an awesome accent.

So I signed up for a Master's of Education in School Counseling. My music certification is going to be next to impossible to renew now that I've let it lapse. This time I've gotten as far as filling out the FAFSA and almost all the classes are online so I have no excuse.

Here we go!

Cruisin' VII- Athens, Greece

2012-01-27T05:47:00.005-06:00

On Christmas Eve we woke up very early to make it down to the terminal in time to meet with Nikous, a tour guide I had booked unrelated to the cruise line. This was one of the best decisions I made on the whole cruise! Nikous met us right outside the cruise terminal, dressed very professionally, with a Mercedes mini-bus for our party of 15.

Nikous and our mini-bus

The first thing Nikous told us was that the employees of all the Greek archaeological sites had gone on strike over night so all of those sites were closed. We were a little bummed but it turned out to be perfectly fine because we got to see more things and didn't have to pay museum entrance fees.

A military band met us at 8am at the terminal to play some Christmas carols.

The arena you see behind me was a basketball court built for the 2004 Olympics (is that right? 2004)?

We got to the Acropolis, which houses the Parthenon, Athena's temple, and some other stuff I can't remember.

The cool thing was that it was before 9am, the sites were totally closed, and it was Christmas Eve so it was completely empty. We were literally the only people there at the time.

We could get close enough to take pictures and walk around a good bit but we couldn't actually go in.

Potential Christmas card.
We never sent out a Christmas card.

Greece is full of stray dogs which we learned the government takes care of. They are well behaved and well fed, although I noticed none of them were fixed. Well, the boys weren't at least. They have doggie shelters set up around the city for the dogs to go eat and sleep, but Nikous says the dogs don't need them because the shop keepers take good care of them.

Silent sentry guarding the Acropolis

Our mini-bus had my name on it all day. I'm a rock star.

View from Mars Hill to the Acropolis

Wouldn't it be cool if you worked or lived in Athens and this was your background every day?

The New Acropolis Museum was open, however and I found it extremely interesting. I think I was the only one that thought this. I spent a ton of time mulling over the ruins and artifacts in there. The part I HATED was that the floors are made of reinforced glass so you can see down in to the excavation project they have going on. In the picture below you can see some ancient tile work and some ruins under my feet.

Maggie hated it too, okay?

We made a quick stop at the Temple of Zeus which was also closed so we had to peer in from the gate. This is the biggest temple in Athens because Zeus is the most important god.

Next up was a stop at the modern Olympic stadium. Built in 1896 completely out of marble, it is the largest completely marble stadium in the world.

Also it's really old.

If you make it Athens you should try to see the changing of the guards at Parliament. It is a show-stopper (literally) and full of pageantry and ritual.

Check out his slippers.

After this we had lunch and went shopping in the pedestrian zone in the old town. I think I could spend a week in Athens and never be finished with it.

Dinner that night was formal and full of surprises- free wine, a show put on by the waiters, and double Italian dessert. Afterward one of the kids hung out with Maggie in our room so we could have some adult time. It was an awesome way to spend Christmas Eve.

This dress fit really well two years ago.

A gift from the cruise line- an Italian Christmas cake

She was actually asleep when this picture was taken, despite the open eyes.

Berlin

2012-01-25T13:25:00.002-06:00

Have I mentioned yet that I loved Berlin?

I went with some friends of mine and left Matt with Maggie for a long weekend. It was the first time I've been away from her for that long and I did miss her, but it was so good to get away for a weekend.

The first thing you should know is that Berlin has been completely rebuilt in the last 20 years. If you don't know Berlin's long, tumultuous history I'll let you look it up on your own, because there was so much else there besides the Brandenburg gate!

The second thing you should know is that I pack for trips like an idiot. I got to Berlin with a hairnet and four pairs of shoes and zero undershirts or toothbrush. I managed to bring a scarf, a hat, and an ear warmer and two jackets, which was nice because it was about 32 each of the days we were there.

I also brought two cameras plus my iPhone but did not bring a memory card. Someone let me borrow one the first day but the batteries in both my cameras died that day. I charged my big camera and decided to give it a go even thought it's sort of messed up, but guess what? I forgot the borrowed memory card in the hotel room.

Shit.

So most of the pictures that follow are from other people and I haven't bothered to edit them or anything. Sorry. So, off to Berlin.

One thing I really, really wanted to see was the monument to homosexuals persecuted in the Holocaust. The memorial is literally a concrete box with a tiny window, and inside the window you can view a 30 second video on loop for all of eternity.

The video is of two men kissing.

I don't mind if two men kiss. I don't mind if two women kiss. I don't mind if a man and a woman kiss. But I don't want to see ANY two people kissing intimately in public. It makes me uncomfortable to witness something that intimate. I would seriously rather see two people fornicating in public. So I glanced at the video, appreciated it for what it stands for, and moved on.

Morgan was not as nonchalant as I was about it!

So the Germans love Michael Jackson. This is, according to one of our tour guides, the "best gay bar in Berlin." It is called Rose and I totally believe it is the best because this is on the windows:

Also, we were looking at Brandenburg Gate and our guide started talking about the hotel adjacent to us, blathering on about Presidents, Queens, dignitaries, and blah blah blah. Then he said, "Remember when Michael Jackson dangled his baby off a ledge? It was right there on that balcony on the third floor."

*Record screeching sound*

"HOLY SHIT! Someone take a picture!"

Middle balcony, third floor. Dangle that Blanket.

Those of you that live in Germany are familiar with Ritter Sport chocolate. They are squares of delicious chocolate that come in a variety of flavors. We paid a visit to the Ritter retail store in Berlin and the kids and I created our own chocolate bars!

Yeah, it's sideways. What of it?

We were so proud! And cold!

I never pass up a cup of Gluhwein. Even at 9am.

One of the few things East Berlin got right was this cute little traffic guy. They tried to get West Berlin to adopt him because it really did help kids learn when to cross, but the West really wanted no part of what the East was doing.

Ampelmann says you got to have a membership card to get inside.

This is the Monument to the European Jews Murdered In The Holocaust. It is open to interpretation. I would love to go back and take "artsy" photos here because it is very moving.

Brandenburg Gate is pretty spectacular at night. It's very hard to get good pictures though. And it's very cold.

Heather, I am standing in 3rd position.

One of my very favorite parts of Berlin is that there is street art everywhere. We took a street art tour on our second day, and if you've ever seen the documentary "Exit Through The Gift Shop" or watched that new horrible show on ABC Family called "Switched At Birth" you might be familiar with the hows and whys of street art.

Really, everywhere you turn in Berlin there is another installation of art popping up somewhere.

Oh, Sydney.

One of the coolest thing we saw was this squatter's art house, called Tacheles. (Please excuse the Wikipedia link. I couldn't get any other links to work in English.) Do read up on it, as it is a very cool place, but if you want to go you'd better go soon because it won't be around much longer.

After Tacheles, we saw even more street art, including the 50 Faces of Berlin exhibition, which is done completely in spray paint.

It was kind of cool that it was Sunday, because everything was closed so the windows that were covered in cool art were down.

Of course, the biggest thing in Berlin is the wall. A portion of it is still there (who wants to remember that, really?) and I brought home what may or may not be an actual piece of the Berlin wall stuck to a postcard.

There is a line through the entire city where the wall used to stand. It's pretty cool.

I am already scheming about how to get back to Berlin. It is such a very cool place. It reminds me of San Fransisco, maybe. Probably Seattle too, but I've never been there.

So, who's in? Who wants to go?

Travel, Baby, and School

2012-01-17T15:11:00.001-06:00

That's pretty much what I'm doing these days. Since December I've been to Italy, Malta, Greece, and Berlin, and in the coming months we have possible trips to Scotland, Sweden, and/or Spain.

Don't ask.

When I'm not traveling I'm at school working, which I mostly love. The job that I do is not stressful, I'm getting to hang around the band room, and there is a small, small, small possibility that I could get hired part time for next year. Getting your foot in the door and your face recognized is pretty important around there, I think.

When I'm not traveling or at school I'm hanging out with Maggie and Matt. Maggie is thriving in day care, although I have some mommy guilt at times about "dumping" her there. She is talking and signing and loves her teachers and other kids.

Maggie's current word list includes things like bubble, chair, banana, more, bath, up, hair, and hat. She gets new ones every day. It's very difficult to keep up with her. We are not anywhere near potty training or toddler beds. She has two molars that are breaking through, giving her a total of 10 teeth and a one chapped chin.

It's finally cold in the Pfalz. I'm working on my last 3 cruise posts (I've had to step away since the sinking of the Costa Concordia- the twin ship to the Costa Serena we were on) and a Berlin post.

The sheep are back in their winter pasture so Roxy has her yard back, although she prefers being in our house asleep on the couch in a nest of pillows. AJ is doing very well at Nicola's for now. He has grown a spectacular winter coat the likes of which we've never seen on him before.

We have been in Germany for a year now. I've learned German pretty well and have managed to go to France, Austria, Italy, Greece, Malta, and a ton of places in Germany. We love the Euro lifestyle and we are really hoping to get a second tour to make it a total of 6 years over here. We're dreaming big about what's going to happen in the next few years but trying not to get our hearts set on anything.

Here are some pictures of life recently. That's what we've been up to. What about you?

It's still beautiful and green up on the mountain

We had sleepover company the other night. Maggie wanted to make sure Albert got his veggies so she is giving him a piece of lettuce.

It did finally snow in December but it melted an hour or so later.

One and only Christmas present- a baby doll!

I was making a carrot cake and Maggie surprised me by mimicking me shredding a carrot. Then eating a whole peeled carrot. Without dying.

Got herself a big girl table!

Ate some dirt for snack at day care.

Loving on AJ during a visit to Nicola last week. He loved her and vice versa.

Taste Of Berlin

2012-01-15T14:15:00.001-06:00

I have a new mistress and her name is Berlin. I LOVE Berlin!

Cruisin' VI- Olympia, Greece

2012-01-09T13:18:00.001-06:00

Luckily we all got to sleep late the morning after the crazy storm. Once we met up with everybody else we learned that everyone had had a bad night, with most of us either sick up just up all night worrying. So we all had leisurely late breakfast (it looked like most people on the ship were doing the same) and waited around for our day trip to Olympia, which didn't start until after lunch.

Approaching Greece. No one told me ships were so windy!

Our excursion was really pretty lame. We paid for "Olympia- Modernity, Myths, and Something Else I Can't Remember." It was a bus ride to the ancient Olympic ruins (suspiciously not on Mount Olympus) which we were led through with a very knowledgeable, English-speaking guide. Our group had at least 60 people and the guide spoke very softly. I finally had to give up on Maggie and Matt and get as close to the guide as I could to hear what she was saying.

Maggie has had a diaper change on ancient ruins and in Mozart's childhood bedroom.

You can sit on the ruins but if you try to stand you will get a whistle blown at you. Don't ask me how I know.

Olympia is the site of the ancient Olympic games, which began in 776 BC and ended in 393 AD. I had to Google that much, so don't ask me the whys or hows because I don' remember that part. The rest of the post is from memory though.

The columns that held up the gymnasium were actually segments of carved rock that were stacked and bound in the middle to keep them from breaking in half if one part of the column cracked. They could replace segments and save themselves a whole column. There were pieces of the columns everywhere and several had been reconstructed to mimic their original state.

The columns in the picture behind us, however, are the only original complete columns left and have been standing there untouched since 700 BC. Wow.

I made us take a lot of "possible Christmas card" pictures

The modern Olympic games started in 1896 in Athens (pictures of that to come in the next post). In 1936 Berlin hosted the Olympics and wanted to do something to commemorate the link between Olympia and Athens, so they came up with the Olympic flame.

(Did you know it is that new?!?!)

The site of the flame lighting is not in a big bowl, like you (and I) probably think. It is in this modest ruin, which used to be the temple of Hera, Zeus' wife.

This temple was used to sacrifice and animal (usually a goat) at every Olympiad in thanks to the gods for all that was done for the mortals.

Today, every two years, a group of women dressed in long white togas comes to the altar and uses the sun's rays and glass to light the Olympic flame. From there the first runner gets it and heads to Athens with it.

This is a pedestal (one of many) that held the statue commemorating a politician who had somehow cheated in the games. It was punishment to have to pay for an extremely expensive statue.

Maggie, goddess of drool

The white marble line the kids are standing on is the original ancient starting line for all the races.

On your marks, get set....

.... go, Maggie, go!

Olympia is a great tourist spot, but that is literally the only thing in the town. We headed back to the port town and got a snack before dinner- lamb gyros, feta cheese, and cappuccino- and watched the sun go down over the harbor.

Lunch time visitor

Back on the ship, we decided to skip dinner for Maggie because she had not had a nap and was way too cranky for a 2 hour sit-down dinner, so we got her ready for bed and I headed up to dinner.

After dinner and the show I came back down to the room to find Maggie screaming so I took her back up to get the only food available at 9:30pm- pizza. She ate a bunch and we came back to the room, where she threw an adorable crib party until 10:30. We were all exhausted by that time so it was an early night.

The Vasectomy Post

2012-01-06T13:35:00.002-06:00

I wrote a post about Matt's, ahem, procedure today. I backdated it so that it's not right on the home page so none of my wonderful family can accidentally read it.

It is VERY graphic (no creepy pictures- don't worry!) but if you are a relative or an older friend that doesn't want to know about Matt's anatomy do not click on the following link.

If you enjoy humor and stick pictures, click away, friends!

The Vasectomy Post

This Is Happening Today

2012-01-06T03:09:00.001-06:00

Yep, one and done. I'll explain myself eventually.

Cruisin' V- Valletta, Malta

2012-01-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been on vacation and then you get home and realize you took next to zero pictures?

Yeah, me neither.

Thursday morning we had a bit of confusion. We knew we were crossing time zones and needed to move our clocks ahead an hour, but we did it a day early and didn't figure it out until halfway through the day. This meant we had very little time in the tiny island country of Malta. I wish we'd had all day. Malta is a gorgeous, rocky, beachy island that is steeped in history. I would try to explain it but you can probably find better information elsewhere.

Views like this abound in Malta

Malta is a city largely built in to and out of stone. It was bombed 8x a day during WWII and still somehow managed to come out the "winner" of its battles. I had done a little research before we left and found a WWII something-or-other I really wanted to visit, but of course I didn't write it down or anything. I'm a planner like that, you know?

Luckily as soon as we exited the cruise terminal I saw signs for the Lascaris War Rooms. These are rooms chiseled slowly in to rock that housed Eisenhower's office for the planning and execution of the invasion and occupation of Sicily. It is completely preserved including original maps, office furniture, radar systems, and pieces of planes.

So. Cool.

I cannot recommend this highly enough, if you can find it. We walked for 1K uphill, through an office, up a staircase, through a stone tunnel, and into a secret passage.

Past this.

I think we ended up on top of this wall

Tshirt weather!

We were given a private tour by the curator, who was a TALKER for sure, and kept restarting and retelling the story when more couples would join our tour.

Very unfortunately, we decided to forgo the stroller that day and carry Maggie in the carrier and she did not tolerate this outing at all. We eventually left the tour early, but I think I managed to see most of it.

Fine for now.

We really thought we were pressed for time (we weren't, it turned out) so we quickly went back to the ship and had lunch and tried to nap.

This was the only day that was suitable t-shirt weather so we decided to try the pool. There were 2 indoor pools (that I knew of) and the first one did not allow children. We asked what pool did allow children and were told there was a kids' pool on the very top deck. The very top. Right next to the ship's smokestack. Which contains the ship's horn.

We mistakenly tried to go to the pool while the ship was leaving port. This was a huge mistake. First of all, it was not cold outside but it was hurricane-force-windy up on the tippy top deck of the ship. The pool was shallow enough for Maggie to stand in and heated so we thought we'd go ahead and get in and just stay under water.

It was f**king cold.

We lasted about five minutes, two of which the ship's horn blew right next to our heads to signal our departure and the other two of which the ship was turning hard to starboard (I have no idea actually, it could have been hard to port) to get out of the port so all the water was sloshing out one side of the pool. We gave it up. My plan was for Matt to get out, get a towel and pack all our stuff, and get a towel for Maggie. I would give him Maggie and he would run inside while I got a towel for myself and gathered all our belongings.

I lost an undershirt in this endeavor but don't worry- I saved both our half-drunk beers.

I put Maggie and myself in a hot shower and we napped and walked around until dinner. We did a lot of walking around because that's all Maggie wants to do these days.

After a delicious seafood dinner, Matt again graciously allowed me to go to the show with our friends while he took care of Maggie. I knew we were driving in to a storm, but I had no idea how much a ship could really rock. This giant ocean liner was actually coming up out of the water and slamming back down.

I was a complete wreck.

Not as much a wreck as the Chinese acrobats featured in that night's show must have been. Any time they missed a hat they were juggling or didn't nail a landing I would yell, "It's okay, it's the ship!" The people sitting around us moved. I felt REALLY bad for the poor girl balancing 20 crystal roses all over her body. I cannot even describe the motion of this boat. Think of being on a tiny fishing boat in the Pacific where people surf.

I got back to the room and stuff was literally falling off counters and any open doors were slamming. The ship was creaking like in Titanic when it's sinking and I kept thinking about that DAMN ship that hit a pier last year (a Costa ship, no less). I was so scared that I didn't sleep one wink and I had to make a list in my head of what exactly I was afraid of and whether the fear was rational or not. Here is the list. You decide:

*Ship tipping over (this was my absolute biggest fear no matter how many times multiple people told me that no cruise ship has ever tipped over in the history of ships)
*Ceiling collapsing and bringing 12 decks crashing down on top of us
*Hitting something
*Ship being bombed or hit with missiles (yeah, I don't know how my brain works)
*Fire on the ship (thanks to someone saying to me "One has never tipped over but fires do happen.")
*Captain is drunk/asleep/sick
*Waves breaking our window

Maggie slept peacefully through the whole thing. Matt didn't sleep either, and when we talked to anyone the next day they had not slept either. The good news is I did not feel sick at all so the first day I must have been really sick.

Cruisin' IV- Palermo, Sicily, Italy

2012-01-03T12:00:00.000-06:00

Our original itinerary had us going to Tunisia, a country in northwest Africa. I was REALLY looking forward to this, but political tensions forced the cruise line to re-route us to the port city of Palermo in Sicily, the football of Italy.

I think political unrest would have been more awesome than Sicily.

It was cold and rainy the day we docked. We had a late, leisurely breakfast then as we were getting off the ship one of the guys we were travelling with found us. His family decided to stay in since the weather was bad, but we braved it and hopped off the ship.

Rick Steves had already told me there is nothing to see in Sicily so I didn't have high hopes. I wanted to buy a bottle of wine and a bottle of olive oil, and we quickly found those things in small markets/grocery stores. Sicily is an interesting place compared to Germany. Germans are neat, tidy, and orderly for the most part and are sticklers for rules and laws.

Sicilians are not.

They would just park wherever their car stopped. We saw a car that was turning on to a street smash in to another car and just keep driving. All the cars looked like they had had that happen to them.

There were piles of trash in the streets. But there were these sunny orange trees everywhere. I wanted very badly to pick one and eat it. I refrained.

It was pretty awesome to soak up the Sicilian culture though. Fresh fruit stands were everywhere. I stopped and bought over 2 lbs of coffee for less than 20 Euros. I got a paper cone full of delicious olives for next to nothing from a vendor I could not communicate with.

We stopped for lunch at a pizzeria. You can't go to Sicily and not eat pizza, right? It was delicious and the wine was cheap.

Maggie loved the toppings and is never ever still.

Our pizza had a hot dog on top.

After this, we were pretty much done with Sicily. After talking to the rest of the families, no one else was impressed either.

Pretty cool to walk down a street and hop on your ship at the end of it!

We got back on the ship and relaxed until dinner. We happened to be standing on the back deck of the boat when we undocked from Palermo, and the sun was setting and casting pinks, purples, and oranges over the houses and shops built in to the mountain face. It was truly stunning to look at.

I loved the seated dinners because we got to catch up with the rest of the families and just sit back and let the wait staff take care of us. We were the last table before the door which meant we were served last but this was fine with us. Most of the time when you're on a cruise ship you are seated with people from other countries and families, but since our group was so big we took up two entire tables. Some nights we did 2 families per table and some nights we did a kids' table and an adults' table.

This particular night I let Matt go enjoy the show while I bathed and bedded Maggie. I very much enjoyed the quiet time to get some reading and writing in!

*A word about language- when we first got to Germany a year ago I had a tough time with language because I took Spanish in high school and retained a good bit of it. So whenever we were out, I knew English wasn't expected of me, but the first word that would pop in to my head would always be Spanish. I've gotten MUCH better and I can carry on short conversations in German now, but as a result I've forgotten almost all my Spanish. When in Italy, though, I always think I know more Italian than I do because it is so similar to Spanish. Sometimes.

So the whole time we were on the cruise I found all sorts of crazy words flying out of my mouth. My most common was "Scusi, bitte!" That would be "Excuse me" in Italian and "Please" in German. Some other hits, were, "Grazie! Tchuss!" and "Bonjour!" Where the hell did I get French from?

Cruisin' III- Day at Sea

2012-01-03T06:00:00.000-06:00

*This is a series of posts about our Christmas Cruise to the Mediterranean Sea. If you want to read them all, click on the "Cruise" tag on the right. If you don't care to watch AND read a slide show of "My Family Vacation" feel free to skip these posts. :)*

Around 5am I heard a huge BANG (it really could have been anything- door slamming, engine room, dolphin in the propeller) and started freaking out. There was no more sleep to be had after that. We had not had our muster drill yet so I didn't know where to go in case of emergency and didn't know how we would be notified in case of emergency. I really should not have read that story about a Costa ship hitting a pier last year and also should not have watched Titanic weeks before we left.

To make my panic worse, I kept hearing announcements but could not hear them in our room.

What I was sure the announcements were saying:

"OH SHIT! THE ENGINE THREW A PISTON! It hit the hull of the boat and she's taking on water and we need everyone to evacuate to the lifeboats immediately!"

What the announcements were probably saying:

"Crew member Kumar Patel, you are needed on Deck 3!"

We all got up around 9:30 (the best, best, best part of this 10 day cruise was that there were only 3 days we needed to be up and out of the room pretty early) and as soon as I got out of the shower an announcement came on in our room in Italian and I was pretty sure it was telling us about our mandatory emergency drill. After hearing the whole thing in French, then German the announcement was made in English (then 4 more languages) so we had plenty of time to get dressed, gather our life jackets, and head up to the proper deck.

The last cruise I went on in 2007 was without a child and with my best friend Heather, and the muster drill was the night we left port. I was cracking up with a drink in my hand, taking pictures, and joking. This time I was feeling sick, wrangling a starving baby, and unable to understand anything anyone around me was saying. Things were a bit different.

Maggie looked at her infant life jacket like it was a chastity belt so I didn't dare try to put it on her. She was wailing through the drill so the crew members weren't going to make her put it on either. The good news is they did the lines in height order so Maggie was first and I was second and I'm pretty sure if (WHEN, I was sure) our boat crashed I'd be first in line. I will shamelessly use my baby to save myself.

(If I sound like I didn't enjoy myself up until this point, it's because I didn't.)

We finally made it to late breakfast with a starving Maggie after 11am, where we fought Europeans for a spot at the buffet. It was our first breakfast and I was still trying to get the hang of everything so I must have made 1000000 trips to the buffet while Matt held Maggie in his lap and let her pick at her plate.

Some awesome things about the buffet:
*Milk was free, along with tea, coffee, and juice. It may not have been whole milk, but we took cups and cups of it for Maggie.
*The coffee stirring spoons were perfect sized for Maggie and she used them.
*There was a wide enough variety that we could always find something she would eat, even though the buffets has the exact same thing every day.

The only thing I could stomach was a Sprite, which cost us 3 Euros, or about $4.50. Yeah, that was the last one of those I had.

Not much else happened this day. We were just trying to figure out the layout of the ship and find what was there. They had a baby play room set up for days at sea, and we spent a couple of hours in there with Maggie and about 5 other kids right around her age. It was interesting to see parenting in other cultures. When the little Italian kids fall down their mom would say "Bravo!" and clap just like we do for Maggie!

Making "friends" in the baby room.

I almost didn't go to dinner since I was still feeling bad and it was a formal dinner, but I went anyway and I'm glad I did. It was nice to catch up with the other families and see what they had done that day, and the kids took Maggie again so we could have some peace. After dinner Matt was so kind enough to take Maggie back to the room for bath and bed so I could go to that night's show with the grownups.

Playing in our room.

Maggie learned to talk a lot while we were on the trip.

The word this day was "hat".

"At!"

It turned out there was a "Captain's Cocktail Party" before the show so we were treated to free champagne and watching the captain walk up the aisle of the theater to Katy Perry's "Firework." (???? I have no idea why.) The whole crew was introduced and I clapped really hard for the Chief Engineer because I suspect he knows a lot more than the captain does about keeping the ship afloat.

The show was terrible, as can be expected on a cruise ship. It was some sort of interpretive dance deal based on Greek mythology. The costumes were cheap and tacky, the dancing was mediocre, the music was cheesy and contrived, and I didn't learn a damn thing about mythology.

But the hot dancers mostly-naked dancers pretty much doing it in the hamster ball thingie was pretty awesome.

Hey, it's Italy!

Cruisin' II- Leaving Savona

2012-01-02T12:00:00.000-06:00

*This is a series of posts about our Christmas Cruise to the Mediterranean Sea. If you want to read them all, click on the "Cruise" tag on the right. If you don't care to watch AND read a slide show of "My Family Vacation" feel free to skip these posts. :)*

Getting on to the ship was a bit of a hassle. We were boarding class #2 since we took the Costa bus. This meant sitting in this massive lobby (like an airport terminal) and trying to listen for our number to be called then once it was called corralling 8 adults, 6 kids, 1 baby and ALL our carry-on luggage to get in "line" (see last post) to have documents checked. We had passports and tickets checked, then were sent through metal detectors, then sent down an elevator (we had a stroller, carseat, backpacks, pillows, blankets, sippy cups, and a baby), put on a packed bus (NOT AGAIN!), driven literally around the corner and dropped off at the ship's entrance. Here we were funneled through 2 lines, our passports taken and pictures recorded, and then they split Matt and me up. I had the stroller and he was sent through another line and I didn't know where he was going or where I should meet him, so after hemming and hawing in the tiny entrance for 10 minutes or so I decided to go to our room.

There was some confusion but we finally met back up in the room and got unpacked and settled in a bit. They already had a Pack and Play set up for Maggie so as soon as we got settled we all laid down for a nap. It didn't last long as Maggie was far too out-of-sorts to sleep long, so then we got up and went to the buffet for a late lunch.

Pretty pleased with the way lunch went.

We went back down to our room to clean up and let Maggie play a bit more then it was time for our first seated fancy dinner. I had been looking forward to these since booked the cruise.

Looking out the window in our room to the port before we set sail.

Dinner was... interesting. They already had a high chair set up at our assigned table, but Maggie was tired, hungry, and had little attention span for sitting strapped in a high chair when there are so many stairs to be climbed in the dining room. We entertained her for a while with movies on the iPad (this would become a nightly ritual that the waiters LOVED- sometimes a wayward kid on the way to the bathroom would even stop and watch over Maggie's shoulder for a minute)

Me, before kids: My child will NEVER be entertained by a screen at the table or in the car, and will not take a pacifier in public past age 1.

After the older kids finished eating they took Maggie to their room to play while the adults got to finish the six course meal in peace.

I had not felt well since the night before, and I kept thinking eating would make me feel better, but instead I kept feeling worse and worse. During the six course dinner I could barely taste one course before my belly would yell at me to STOP! and I couldn't even enjoy the bottle of wine we were drinking. So after dinner when the rest of the families went to the after-dinner show, we went back to our room where Matt gave Maggie a bath while I sat very, very still on the bed and tried not to think about maggots in oatmeal and dog vomit. Why is it when you feel bad your brain will only think about nasty stuff?

The stewards hung Christmas bows on everyone's doors.

Our lights were out by 9. By 10:30 I was in the tiny bathroom being re-introduced to my 6 course dinner. I spent the rest of the night becoming familiar with an unfamiliar bed, freaking out about every noise the ship made (DID WE JUST HIT AN ICEBERG? Oh wait, we're in the Mediterranean), and trying to fall asleep.

We're off to a great start, aren't we?

Cruisin' I- Savona, Italy

2012-01-02T05:08:00.002-06:00

*This is a series of posts about our Christmas Cruise to the Mediterranean Sea. If you want to read them all, click on the "Cruise" tag on the right. If you don't care to watch AND read a slide show of "My Family Vacation" feel free to skip these posts. :)*

Last summer I got the idea in my head that I wanted to skip Christmas this year. I wanted to go on a fabulous vacation to Greece and soak up the sunshine and history. The local travel agency website has cruises listed all the time and I found one that was affordable, over Christmas, and had a perfect itinerary. Tunisia, Malta, three Greek cities and Rome. And what was best is as we were talking about it and planning, three other families we are close to over here coincidentally booked the exact same cruise! So it was a no-brainer.

The next step was figuring out how we would get to the port city of Savona, Italy which is a 12 hour drive from Kaiserslautern. Through the Alps. My very first instinct was to drive ourselves, and in hindsight that's what I would have done. My second instinct was to fly but that turned out to be incredibly expensive and a huge hassle, since it would involve hotel stays. The last choice was to take a bus sponsored by the cruise company. It was relatively cheap, we knew we'd get there on time and if we didn't the ship would wait for us or pay for transfer, and it didn't involve us driving through the Alps in December. Great choice, right?

Ahem.

We boarded the bus at 7pm the night before our cruise departed. We had the car seat to install since we paid for a seat for Maggie and I was armed with Vitamin B for Maggie. Also known as liquid Benadryl. DON'T JUDGE ME, SHE HAD A COLD, OKAY????!!! I was worried about her behavior on the bus since she is not used to being strapped in her seat for very long and does not like to sit still. But after our disaster flight back from the US this summer I knew she would definitely need the car seat.

We were seated in front of a family of six, one of whom had the plague or something and spent the first SIX hours of the ride sucking snot back up his/her nose and coughing plague particles on to my seat back. Maggie's carseat smelled faintly of vomit still, and that lovely aroma was mixed with dryer sheets I had shoved in it to help curb the smell. Lovely when mixed with Plague.

Maggie did great. She slept 10 of the 14 hours and the rest of the time watched Shrek on my iPad (this would become instrumental later in the trip) and had snacks. Matt dozed in and out and read and listened to music. The bus was like a flight- we had a bus attendant who came around every once in a while selling drinks and taking breakfast orders. We stopped every few hours, but only for quick stretching and pottying.

This picture may be a bit deceiving because I did not sleep on the bus. Thanks, anxiety!

I was a hot mess on the bus ride. I have been panicking a bit over this trip since we booked it mainly because of the bus ride. You hear about bus crashes all the time, and this bus ride was over night, through the Swiss, Austrian, and Italian Alps, and is a two story bus pulling a luggage trailer which makes it too top-heavy in my mind. We made a lot of stops at the beginning, picking up passengers in two other locations and stopping for potty breaks. This got us to the border of Germany and Austria, and I was pretty okay at this point. I even dozed a little. But when I woke up at midnight or so and looked outside to a foot of snow on the ground and noted how slow the bus was going, there was no more sleep to be had.

I was in a minor panic. I could not sleep because I needed to stay awake, in my mind, to help the driver. I don't know what I was "helping" him with. I guess I felt like if I was awake and something happened I'd be better equipped to act. What would happen?

Falling off the edge of a mountain.

Spinning out.

Bus tipping over.

Brakes giving out.

Crashing in to something else.

Guess what actually happened? We arrived safely and two hours early to the port and I got no sleep.

Breakfast was served at 6am on the bus and included champagne. Yep, that's champagne at 6am.

Maggie woke up a little bit before we got to the port and as soon as we parked we got her out of the car seat, changed her, and gave her a snack. We had to wait a bit to get off the bus.

I love these PJs! I got them on sale at Gymboree for $5 last summer

My little Uncle Fester

Getting to the port was effortless. We rolled in around 9am and the ship crew took our luggage directly from the bus on to the ship so we didn't even have to touch it. We couldn't board the ship for another 3 or 4 hours so we took advantage of the warm, sunny day and let Maggie run around on this deck.

There was a small cafe and a baby play room in the terminal so we played there for a long time and tried to keep cranky, sleepy Maggie awake until we found our stateroom.

The Costa Serena

Getting on the ship was a bit of a hassle, and as we were waiting Costa (the cruise line) representatives were swarming the lobby hawking expensive drink packages and excursions. It was my first clue that the whole trip would be an up-sell to make the cruise line money. We knew this and had budgeted exactly for what we wanted on board, but it was very annoying anyway.

Here are a few notes about the Costa Serena in general:

::It is an Italian line owned by Carnvial.

::Most of the passengers are Italian, followed by French and Spanish, followed by American and German.

::Almost all the crew spoke English at least a little.

::It is a big (3800 passenger), clean ship but the decor is tacky and dated (Styrofoam Greek gods hanging in the atrium)

::Every crew member we encountered was helpful, polite, and seemed to enjoy their job, particularly the room stewards and the maitre'd in the restaurant.

::The rooms were not huge, but no smaller than a typical European hotel room. We found we had plenty of room for a Pack N' Play set up and a play area in the floor for Maggie. And we had a cheap room.

::Nothing is free and expect to pay out the nose for anything you purchase on the ship. This is true for any cruise line, though.

::There is no such thing as a "line" or "queue" for Europeans. Ever. Anywhere. There were constantly crowds pushing and shoving and elbowing, particularly in the buffet restaurant and for the elevators. Seriously, the elevator would be slam full of people and when we'd stop on a floor, people would see the crowd and STILL elbow their way in to the elevator. Not a fun ride.

::Fortunately the ship is pretty large and the only time there are really bad crowds are at the elevators before and after dinner and disembarking the ship in ports, and at peak times at the buffet, such as breakfast and lunch.

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T17:36:00.001-06:00

Love, Matt the Loser Who Can't Stay Up past 9.

Here's What's Up Over Here

2011-12-29T09:54:00.001-06:00

For me this week.

Quickie

2011-12-28T13:26:00.001-06:00

Our cruise is over and we are back in Germany! Here are a few quick thoughts until I can get some pictures up:

Cruises are AWESOME if you don't have kids and are very rich.

I don't know as much (okay, any) Italian as I like to think I do.

Never book the cruise line's tours unless you like throwing away money.

I haven't cooked or driven in 10 days and it's niiiiiice.

Don't forget to take pictures, but if you do try to travel with 3 other families bearing great photographers/videographers so you can just steal theirs later.

Pieces of my favorite pink headphones are on the floor of the Sistine Chapel. Hope they enjoy the view.

Cursive

2011-12-16T14:41:00.001-06:00

This and That. That and This.

2011-12-14T14:20:00.003-06:00

After the Great Computer Fiasco of 2011, I considered getting a new MacBook. It's not that I WANT or need a new MacBook, but mine is slowing down and showing its age. It's from 2008 and I literally have time to make myself a cup of coffee including picking the beans off trees waiting for some of the programs to load. Instead we are going to upgrade my RAM, get a large external hard drive, and see if that moves me along a little.

I had to delete files off my hard drive just to download a song the other day. That's how dire it was.

Time for rapid fire random thoughts:

I try not to trust people on the internet. Not well enough to send them money, at least.

Is it okay to say "black" people or are we still doing the African American thing? What if they're German?

I have been immediately dismissing any "photography" business I see pop up on my Facebook. I have a DSLR too, and I know how it works, and I still take shitty pictures.

The Great Car Seat Vomit Fiasco is still being resolved. Yesterday Maggie picked up the vomit-soaked Glow-worm I had thrown in the Dirty Kitchen Towels pile on the floor and started singing, "Dooooo, doooo, dooooo!" When I shrieked and threw it away from her like a live grenade she threw herself on the floor and started crying "Doooooo, dooooo, doooooo!" She's so cute.

I'm dog sitting for our friends tonight. I'm not sure one of them is still alive. (Just kidding Amy, he's breathing every hour or so!) It was also weird changing a diaper on a dog and putting it in my Diaper Genie. You know how wet diapers are always warm? Yeah, his wasn't. Super weird, right?

Once we leave Sunday night for our fabulous Mediterranean cruise I will likely not blog again until we get back because I ain't wasting precious booze money on internet. It will be a very nice break.

I am so far fully enjoying being back at work and I'm pretty much working full time now. Maggie is doing great at day care except she hates going outside to play so she just sits outside and cries.

That's all! Bye-bye! Can you wave bye-bye?

(Last page of Pat the Bunny ^)

More Pictures From The Country

2011-12-13T13:51:00.001-06:00

Some more pics from my crappy iPhone.

A gentle giant, a silent sentry. I love the way these guys sound at night. It's a whoosh-whoosh-whooshing just for me.

The other night I was driving in the dark and I saw this bright light (you can't tell from my awesome photography skillz) and I thought "Wow, the moon is bright tonight!" I later learned that these are the flood lights on the flight line at Ramstein, which is 15-20 miles away from my house!

And here is the actual moon, poking out from behind the barn-turned-house next door in a totally creeptastic manner.

Y'all. I cannot wait until December 23 when the time starts to turn around and it's not dark allllllll the time.

Oh Good Lord

2011-12-10T12:59:00.001-06:00

Friday, December 9

8:00am- I get to school to be a sub for the teacher I normally work with

11:15am- I make a mad dash out of school to beat traffic

11:45am- I finally make it to lunch with friends from Georgia which was supposed to be at 11:30

1:30pm- Do some shopping at the mall. Contemplate attempting suicide in the bathroom because every American redneck in our area is trying to buy every piece of noisy plastic that exists in the toy department. "HI I'M DORA! THIS IS MY MONKEY, BOOTS!"

3:00pm- Get a call that I finally got 4 tickets to Matt's band concert that night that I've been wanting to go to for weeks.

3:30pm- Go to a spa appointment that I don't enjoy because I'm watching the clock the whole time.

4:30pm- I have paraffin wax on my feet and I can't stop thinking about Maggie sitting at day care alone and crying.

5:30pm- I FINALLY get to the daycare which is almost right across the street from the spa and actually cry when picking Maggie up because she is the last one there and I feel horrible.

5:45pm- I get back to the other base to pick up my tickets.

6:30pm- I am in downtown Kaiserslautern somewhere near where I'm supposed to be but no one can help me find parking by phone. I was supposed to be here at 5:15.

6:40pm- I find a parking garage which is nearly empty (yay!) and I start walking toward.... I'm not sure where I'm going.

6:45pm- I'm on the phone with Matt crying again because I have no idea where I am other than a very scary alley. All the Germans are staring at me and laughing. Probably. I finally see H&M, which I am very familiar with, but Matt doesn't know where he is in relation to this. Quote from Matt: "When you look in the sky where is the moon in relation to you?" Quote from me: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING MOON IS, ASSHOLE! WHERE ARE YOU????

7:00pm- I find Matt and finish crying and thank the universe that it is really cold outside so you can't tell I've been crying.

7:30pm- I wrestle with Maggie about riding a little truck ride (she wins- it was worth it).

7:35pm- I'm in the concert hall amidst hundreds of old, well-dressed Germans with my stroller trying to find a place to park it. I am sweating profusely.

7:45pm- I find Nicola and stash my stroller behind a bar.

7:47pm- I find a bunch of other spouses and their kids. The kids take Maggie and I get a miraculous 5 minutes alone.

7:55pm- I find our seats and start thinking about how to keep Maggie occupied for 2 hours.

8:00pm- The concert starts! Maggie is applauding wildly. Nonstop.

8:05pm- Maggie attempts to throw her pacifier over the balcony. Maggie takes her shoes off. Maggie takes her socks off. Maggie wants her socks back on. Maggie wants to sit with Nicola. Maggie wants to sit with me. Maggie stands up. Maggie sits down. Maggie throws my phone on the floor and yells "Uh oh!"

8:06pm- I wonder who in their right mind takes a 1 year old to a concert.

8:07pm- Maggie is wandering the balcony barefoot and I am tip-toeing in my heels behind her.

8:09pm- I realize this isn't working and go out to the lobby/bar area. I buy Maggie a pretzel and it seems she isn't going to fall asleep like I'd hoped.

8:30pm- I decide this is dumb and decide to go home. I start walking toward what I think is the scary alley we parked in.

8:45pm- I find the scary alley. I can't find the door I came out of. I realize I can't find it because it is gated and locked. I find a German guy and yell out "Is this closed?" He doesn't know what I'm saying. I flip through the files in my brain searching for a German word that could help me and all I come up with is "Geschlossen?" The guy says "Ah, ya!" I can't remember if geschlossen means open or closed but I remember seeing it on shop doors.

It means closed, for the record.

I say, "Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit." The guy laughs.

8:47pm- I start walking back toward the concert hall and I'm pretty confident at this point where it is.
The door where I entered is locked so I start to panic, but it opens from the inside and an American (thank goodness!) who works for the American TV station opens it. I am trying to keep my composure.

8:55pm- I lose my shit and burst into ugly-cry, complete with hyperventilation so I'm hiccuping. "I HIC parked in the HIC the HIC HIC wrong lot and now HIC it's closed HIC and HIC and HIC and all my HIC friends are in there HIC HIC and it's been a HIC really really HIC bad day!" The guy is super nice and finds a hall employee who speaks English to take me up via staff elevator to the gallery where everyone is sitting.

9:00pm- I find my friend Stacie who I know won't judge me for losing my shit and tell her what happens and without skipping a beat says, "Okay. Let's go." She grabs her stuff and we leave. I know intermission is coming and I'd really like to leave before people start streaming out the doors.

9:30pm- We are in Stacie's car with Maggie in my lap in the back seat (we only own one car seat and that will be remedied VERY soon) and we hope the whole way home no one sees her back there. Maggie wiggles and wiggles and wiggles in my lap.

10:00pm- We are home. I want to drink heavily but instead I put Maggie to bed, drink some water and crash.

Saturday, December 10

9:00am- our family wakes up.

11:30am- Matt arrives at our other friend's house to give my keys, my parking lot ticket, and our GPS to her boyfriend who has so graciously offered to go get my car as long as I would drive him back to get his.

2:30pm- Our friend arrives at my house with my car. It was only 11 Euro to bust my car out of jail! Yay!

3:00pm- We arrive back at the parking deck and I drop him off. I block traffic for a while and make people cuss and give me the stink eye. Then I try to drive on to a very busy pedestrian street, which causes me to have to back my bigger-than-all-Europeans' car all the way down an alley. Maggie is pissed.

Presently- I'm finally having a beer, I've baked thank you cupcakes and cleaned the house, and even managed to get Matt an early Christmas present.

Maggie Update

2011-12-08T12:51:00.001-06:00

Maggie is doing a lot of things these days. Like saying "uh oh!" whenever something hits the floor (like the plate I dropped at Matt's work Christmas party last night). Like giving hugs and kisses for real. Like hugging stuffed animals and petting animals gently. Like bringing us her favorite book (Fifteen Animals) and saying in a singsong voice "Doo doo doo doo doo doo" as she drops the book on our heads/bellies/chests/big toes.

Like these things:

Clapping and dancing

Having her first candy

Eating at the big girl table

Getting a new perspective

Walking everywhere

Making peach-bean soup messes

Loving Santa. Or tolerating.

Lounging on the sofa

Toting around an old trash can

Attending school and enjoying it

Weight lifting

Hugging her Daddy

Drinking from a straw

Computer Repair

2011-12-04T07:06:00.001-06:00

Two night ago I dropped my trusty old MacBook on the tile floor. I'm not sure how it happened other than there was a Guinness Foreign Extra Stout and two other half liters of Christmas beer involved after not drinking for quite some time before that.

I thought it was okay (it's been dropped before) but the DVD drive started making funny noises and it wouldn't spit my DVD back out. It was a very important one- my Twilight DVD. Thank god it wasn't Shrek or I would have been making an emergency trip to the BX to replace it because we can't make it through a day without watching at least part of Shrek.

After digging around in there with tweezers, business cards, and other small tools, Matt deduced that he would have to take out the optic drive. This is not as easy as it sounds. Macs are apparently built like jigsaw puzzles, so to take out the optic drive, first you have to take out the battery, then the hard drive, then some other stuff, then you can reach the drive.

Matt looked up a tutorial and went to work. I sat there wincing and cringing and taking pictures.

Much smarter than I am- these are the screws labeled where they used to go.

Did you even know this comes off?

Ever wondered what a laptop keyboard looks like alone? Weird.

My little geek, hard at work! The hard drive is out at this point and I'm biting my lip like crazy.

The offending DVD. It still works!

He got it all put back together and only two screws were left over at the end! We knew where they went, but he couldn't get them back in because our screwdriver was too big to reach properly.

We hesitantly stuck a CD in the drive and when that worked, we stuck a DVD in there, and it worked too! I'm glad we did this because I have been wanting to buy some more RAM and now I won't be scared to replace it.

I asked Matt to clean up my computer when he was done and he accidentally deleted my DVD player app. It took longer to fix that than it did to disassemble and reassemble my whole laptop.

Anyone wanna come watch Twilight? Haha.

I'm Just Gonna Blog It Out

2011-12-02T13:05:00.001-06:00

I've been having a lot of conflicting feelings over the last year about going back to work, so I'm gonna write about that now. If you don't care about stay-at-home-mommy shit vs. working-mom shit you should just click away.

As you already know, I carried Maggie for 42 weeks. Well, that's what the doctors say, but that's for another day. I dutifully taught my lessons and visited my schools until the week of delivery. After Maggie was born, I taught lessons at our house with newborn Maggie swinging away in the baby swing in the living room while I taught and watched her from the music room. I also prayed a lot that she would not want to nurse during these lessons. I think if we hadn't moved, I would have gone straight back to my regular schedule without missing a beat.

But we did move, and we sort of decided and were sort of forced into me staying home with Maggie Moo. I'm not going to lie, staying at home wore on me. It wore on me HARD, especially when Matt was TDY for sometimes a couple of weeks at a time. We do have good friends here, but everyone has their own lives and child care is just not easy to come by. I guess when Maggie was around 6 months and Matt was gone yet again I decided I did not want to stay home with her anymore.

Let me add here that I am pretty sure I had severe postpartum depression. I had feelings that were completely normal ("I can't do this anymore!" "Please stop whining before I throw you out the window!"), but I definitely had some feelings that were not normal (I cannot even articulate those here because it is too painful for me to think about plus I would probably get my child taken away from me). There are a number of reasons I was not treated for this but it doesn't really matter now because WHEEEEEEEE! I'm much better.

I was so desperate to get out of the house and get Maggie in to daycare I took the only job available to me that I thought I would enjoy- substitute teaching and working with a college-prep type classroom on a daily basis. Care for Maggie was trickier since there is very, very little care available here for kids under 2, but I FINALLY got a slot in the on base day care and after visiting them yesterday I could not be more excited.

However....

On our way to the sitter's house this week I suddenly had a humongous panic attack. Am I doing the right thing? Shouldn't I stay home with my baby as long as I am able? Yes, the extra money will be nice, but it won't be that much and we don't need it, it will just be nice. We are talking 8 hours out of every day, which leaves me a half hour in the morning and three hours in the evening to be with my daughter. Plus weekends, of course. I would miss her first.... what? She's already hit the major ones.

I was seriously re-thinking the whole thing. I was feeling very, very guilty for leaving Maggie with a stranger every day (she loved the stranger, by the way) and leaving her with a day care worker every day. Why have a kid (ON PURPOSE, even) if you are just going to give them away?

But then....

Then the sitter was sick on Tuesday so I stayed home with Maggie all day. Suddenly I realized why I was going back to work. Maggie was bored. to. death. with me all day long and no amount of activities could catch her attention. Coloring? No, thanks! I'd rather eat the tips off the crayons and pour them on the floor and color on the radiator (!) with them. Playing outside? Nope, too cold and rainy. Playing in her room? Nah, got foot caught in the rocking chair and ruined that. I finally called Nicola to come over and play with us because I was out. of. ideas.

And then...

I visited our new day care. I met our teacher and saw all the other kids in the room. They are around Maggie's age and they were sleeping on cots and the lights were on and no white noise was blaring and everything! And they feed them breakfast AND lunch at a cute little baby table and they actually sit there and eat it! And they color and paint and go outside to play twice a day and there are other kids to play with and the teacher is sooooooo nice.

And honestly, the first day I walked in to the high school and took over my little corner of the classroom I'm working in I was so happy. I absolutely love teaching high schoolers. Well, I don't actually teach the class, and it only meets for an hour and half every other day. But still. I have my own desk! And I'm using my own brain for things other than memorizing Backyardigan songs and the book Fifteen Animals! (I really like animals, I like them a lot. Fifteen animals is what I've got!)

The best part- I haven't changed a shitty diaper in over a week. But tomorrow is Saturday, so, you know.

So my guilt has subsided and I've realized that this is right for our family. It's okay that I don't have what it takes to stay at home anymore. Hell, I was in day care from the time I was an infant and I'm pretty sure I loved it!

I Suck At Photograpy

2011-11-29T13:03:00.001-06:00

So, I'm trying to take pictures of some Christmas ornaments and decorations that I really love and I can't seem to make my camera do what I want it to do. I understand aperture, shutter speed, ISO, white balance, etc. but some of these were even taken on auto and one even with a flash (I NEVER use a flash!) so I think my camera is messed up or something. But anyway...

See the bell? That bell has been at my Granddaddy's house for as long as I can remember. I have always loved it and, morbid or not, I've always wanted it when he dies. Last Christmas, knowing how much I love it and that we were moving to Germany the next month, my Granddaddy gave it to me! I made Matt go right out and buy me batteries for it. LUCKY GUY!

This one was on auto and the color is TERRIBLE and it's a bit blurry

Isn't this an awesome picture? It's a sea turtle ornament I got us on one of my favorite trips to Jekyll Island, Georgia.

Yeah, what? I think this one was on aperture priority and I clearly have some problems here.

This pansy came from Heather's Christmas shop. It was a gift at my bridal shower!

This one was taken with the flash and I don't like how it looks.

My internet buddy Terri sent me some ornaments (and some jellies and some Minnie Mouse ears and some liqueur filled chocolates!) and she did an awesome job picking out all the lush-related ones!

On auto

Either auto or portrait mode. Not at all what I was going for. :(

Do I need to have my camera checked? Or do I need photography classes?

Weihnachts Markt

2011-11-29T04:50:00.000-06:00

We went to our first Christmas Market in Germany at a medieval castle near Kusel called Burg Lichtenberg. I have been looking forward to German Christmas markets for well over a year and this one did not disappoint! There was hot gluehwein (red wine mulled with winter spices), hot mead (a literally ancient drink- wine from fermented honey that is believed to have been drunk by Greek gods), all manner of cheeses and breads and cookies, and of course Christmas crafts. It was much colder than I thought it would be this day and we had Maggie, so I didn't do much picture taking. I did manage to get one of Matt and me at the entrance to the Markt with the castle's turret behind us!

Phone Photo Drop

2011-11-26T11:58:00.001-06:00

I'm taking a cue from my friend Heather today and just dropping a bunch of phone pictures from the last month or so. I numbered them but for some reason they didn't show up, so you can probably figure out which picture is which.

1. Matt was in Russia last month and this is some of the money he brought back. He handed it to me and I thought "WE ARE RICH!" but it turns out this much Russian rubles is only about $20.

2. Roxy likes our ball pit, I guess!

3. I went with some friends to Rothenburg which is a medieval German town that was saved from the WWII bombings. It is completely intact and very cute!

4. While in Rothenburg we took a night watchman tour. It was very informative, and cold, and fun!

5. Last weekend we went to a professional soccer game. The home team is in a big league but the game ended up being pretty bad. They lost 1-2.

6. Look! A blurry picture of us at a 1FCK game! (1. Football Club of Kaiserslautern)

7. There were ash trays in the bathrooms.

8. At one point we went to the snack bar and ordered 12 beers and 2 wines and the girl at the register said, "Really?" Luckily they had little handles to carry five at a time.

9. I went to France to big grocery/discount store called Cora which is basically a French WalMart but with better food. I successfully ordered 2 kinds of cheeses at the cheese counter from a French woman who only spoke German and French.

10. It's the return of the doggie santa costume and our cute new Christmas tree I got at Cora for 15 Euro!

11. I won a cornbread competition at a work function for Matt. There were only 2 entries and the other one got there too late for most people to try theirs.

12. Maggie had beans and peaches for dinner and decided they'd make a good soup. GROSS.

New Music

2011-11-17T13:44:00.001-06:00

If you know me in real life at all you know I'm a music (and beer and thread count and dog breed and real food) snob. I LOVE real musicians and good music. I cannot stand no-talent ass clowns who wander in to the music industry accidentally with little to no talent and are so heavily marketed they no longer resemble themselves or sound like a real person.

I'm looking at you, Ashlee Simpson, Justin Bieber, and maybe even Katy Perry.

So, anyway.

I've been obsessed with all things Nickel Creek since my good friend Justin introduced them to me in the summer of 2001 and I have seen them in concert several times. Including their last concert EVER at the Ryman in Nashville. I've seen the mandolin player from that group, Chris Thile, play with his band which had no name at the time and is now going by Punch Brothers. That is also a fantastic album: How To Grow A Woman From The Ground.

So when I saw Yo-Yo Ma was going to be on Colbert (1: I now watch Colbert. 2:Why is Yo-Yo on Colbert?) I was intrigued at the very least. I also love Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin's album, Hush and after I heard the song the new group performed I was hooked and bought the CD immediately. I have not yet stopped listening to it, and although the entire album is completely fantastic this is the one song I've had on repeat for over a week now. I can't get enough!

The album is called The Goat Rodeo Sessions and it is fan. freaking. tastic.

This Week's Menu

2011-11-13T10:07:00.001-06:00

We are attempting vegetarian dinners during the week for the month of November. I quickly made lots of stipulations like 1) Dinner only (NEED ham sandwich for lunch!) 2) Weekdays only (steeeeak) 3) Veg not vegan (where would I turn without milk, eggs, and cheese?) 4) Thanksgiving doesn't count. Okay, Thanksgiving WEEKEND doesn't count. 5) Fresh fish is okay.

Unfortunately I don't really like beans or potatoes so that takes a lot of our choices out. I'm doing okay with beans though. We ate them 3 times last week. So far we are doing well!

What's your favorite meatless dish?

Ambitious Travel Plans

2011-11-12T13:13:00.001-06:00

I just made a list of all my travel ambitions for while we're still here in Europe and looking at it I REALLY hope we get a second tour to fit this all in! Here's my wish list:

Germany

Munich/Dachau

Berlin/ Leipzig

Hamburg/Hanover

Garmisch/Edelweiss

Cochem/Cologne

Baden Baden

Bad Durkheim Wine Festival

Belgium

Brugge

Brussels

The Netherlands

Amsterdam

Czech Republic

Prague

Turkey

Istanbul

France

Provence

Normandy Beach

Spain

Barcelona

Gibralter

Portugal

Lisbon

Hungary

Budapest

Egypt

Cairo

Alexandria

United Kingdom

Scotland-Glasgow

Wales- Cardiff

England- London

Austria

Vienna

Italy

Pompeii

Tuscany

Scandanavia

Norway

Sweden

THE ULTIMATE DREAM (This is thanks to that asshole Matt Lauer who I secretly love)

Namibia

What's your biggest travel wish?

Scenes From The Country

2011-11-06T04:25:00.000-06:00

All taken from my iPhone with no editing- that's how beautiful our area is!

Near copper mines in Imsbach

The end of our road- Karlshohe looking down to Messersbacherof

The valley behind our house as seen from the wind farm

The valley again looking down to Reichsthal

Near Holbornerhof and Schallodenbach- this is my drive home

Up the mountain from Heimkirchen- this is the road where I broke my car

Talking

2011-11-02T16:07:00.001-05:00

Maggie is saying more and more clear words these days. Well, clear for a one year old. Here's what she's up to.

"Ticka Ticka Ticka" - no idea what this is, but she says it all the time!

"Whassa?"- What's that?

"Uh oh!" - she said this one today when she dropped a toy.

"Whuydune?"- What are you doing?

"Uhwoah?"- Hello?

"Wow!" - or more commonly "Wowowowowow!"

She buzzes her lips when she wants to ride her toy car.

She sings very quietly when she hears music- "Dooooooe, doooooe, doooooooe!" She frequently dances while singing too!

Frightening

2011-10-30T06:52:00.002-05:00

For Halloween, like most things I do, I tried to buck tradition a little bit. I hate, hate, hate that Halloween is pretty much permission for girls and women to dress like sluts and I think those pre-made baby costumes are cute but are a dime a dozen.

*Disclaimer- If you want to dress like a slut for Halloween or dress your baby in a Target pre-made bumblebee costume I am not knocking you! Do whatever you want, but those things are not for me. Much like potatoes and skinny jeans.*

So I decided originally to dress Maggie as a Target employee, but soon I changed my mind and thought it would be hilarious to dress her as Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. I love creative costumes and I love homemade costumes even more, and I love cheap or free costumes best of all so I thought this would be PERFECT!

Here's how I made the costume, in case anyone cares: I took an old black fleece-ish shirt that I had (Why did I own this? Lots and lots and lots of concerts.) and cut a big panel out of the back and sewed a seam to make it narrow enough for Maggie, then I cut the front to make it work like a robe. I put a button on one shoulder to keep it closed (I ended up making the buttonhole too big so I re-buttoned that damn robe all day). I put her in black leggings and put a rope around her waist. When she was in her high chair eating lunch, I held her head down and tried as hard as I could to put some black makeup smudges under her eyes but she wasn't having it so it looks like bad rock star makeup.

I'm Courtney Love!

I didn't think anyone would know who she was supposed to be if I didn't include a light bulb in her costume, so after much thought, I made a light bulb pacifier. I used a toy orange wrapped in paper towel with a rubber band securing it, then I added a silver paper strip. I taped the whole thing to a pacifier. It was PERFECT for about ten minutes. I never did get a picture with her using it right because she finally ripped the sucker from the bulb and chewed all the paper towels off. Here's the best one someone got for me:

Since I am anti-whore Halloween costumes I decided against being Morticia to complement Maggie's Fester and figured it would be super easy to be Gomez instead. I could use one of Matt's suits, slick my hair down and paint it black, and color on a big mustache, and voila! Gomez! I figured people would figure out who I was supposed to be as long as Maggie was with me.

So I was getting us ready to go out the door when Nicola appeared to ask me something and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I told her we were dressed up for a couple of Halloween parties and she goes,

"YOU LOOK LIKE HITLER!!!"

Oh, shit.

That thought never, ever crossed my mind. The whole time I was getting dressed and painting on my mustache I never thought of Hitler. In case you were wondering, there are some lingering bad feelings on the whole Hitler subject in Germany and the more country you are the worse you hate Hitler. After I showed Nicola a picture of Gomez and Uncle Fester from Google, she laughed a lot and went to get her camera. She wanted to take our picture outside, of course, so I was terrified what the neighbors would think. As we were walking outside to get our picture taken I told her to just tell them I was Charlie Chaplain. She said they were all too stupid to know who that is.

I did add a glove stuffed with paper towels to my shoulder to be Thing. I hoped it would help.

This is the most inadvertently inappropriate costume EVER.

So I was driving to base to a festival we were going to and I was trying to be inconspicuous and of COURSE, I caused a major traffic jam on a tight intersection involving, what else, a whole bus full of people. Imagine being German in 2011 and seeing this coming toward you:

Maggie is always rear facing. This picture is for demonstration purposes only.

So I went ahead and died of embarrassment all the way to base, and really almost died when I not only had to give my ID to the German gate guards but we also had to have a conversation about my ID.

Good lord.

I spent the rest of the day saying, "I'm not Hitler!" before speaking to anyone. We had a blast at the festival we went to, and then we went to a Halloween party for babies only! That was a lot of fun too. And cute overload. The rest of the babies were around 9-10 months so they were all crawling around and interacting with each other and Maggie was loving it! We had our picture taken again:

Yep, I'm still not Hitler

And somehow, somebody worked some magic and managed to get a picture of all five babies. Maggie cried and crawled away every time we took away her cup so I just let her have it.

Logan, the monkey in the middle, was the host of the party.

I am so done with Halloween this year! Maybe next year I'll dress up as Castro and go to Cuba.

*Very, VERY many thanks to my friends Amy, Sarah (and Robert), and Jennifer (and Rob) for taking all these pictures for me! My camera is in Russia with my husband.*

Month Thirteen

2011-10-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

This month Maggie has developed a personality so big I can't even talk about it! I spend most of the day cracking up, so I just made a video.

This And That. That And This.

2011-10-26T14:02:00.000-05:00

I went to a "hard core" class this morning with my friend Amy. I'm going to really regret that tomorrow. As we were running two piddly laps around the gym for a warm up, I realized it has been fully 3 years since I have run (except for an incident involving some dogs). I am proud to say I didn't start sweating and feeling terrible until about halfway in to the the workout. I am not proud to say that while I have completed Army basic training and passed PT tests before, I cannot do one single correct push up right now.

Matt is gone and I am in a funk. I just do not feel like doing anything and where my kitchen is usually clean and I sweep or vacuum my floors daily, I am really not in to doing it. Instead I'm leaving the house as much as possible to avoid it.

I'm also not eating right because I don't want to cook. Last night I ate a whole bag of carrots with some hummus I made and when the carrots were over I licked it off my fingers. Tonight I ate a piece of fudge. It's 9pm and now I'm hungry. This is a mistake in food planning.

The amount of hair growth on my leg is comparable to Bigfoot's nut sack. Not that I've ever seen it. Or want to.

Now that Maggie is one we are on to her second of everything. Her second Halloween. Her second Thanksgiving. Her second Christmas. The truth is my brain was so screwed up this time last year that I don't even remember the months of August through January. I have to seriously think about where we were for Thanksgiving, what we did for Halloween, and what country we lived in at New Year's Eve.

Here's an update on our dog AJ that I was seriously considering rehoming: He is living next door with our landlady Nicola. He can't escape her fence and doesn't even try, and she walks him twice a day and has trained him to stop being mean to other dogs and to come back when called. He still has his moments but for the most part he is a much better dog. He is healthy and his coat hasn't looked this good since he lived in Boise with Matt. There is some question now to his ownership but for now we are still claiming him.

I'm very excited about Halloween festivities this weekend and Thanksgiving coming up. I'm itching to get the Christmas stuff out but I'm forcing myself to give Thanksgiving the time and love it deserves.

Deck them halls, y'all!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2011-10-24T11:53:00.002-05:00

The Ugly

I yelled at Maggie today because I'd just had enough.

There is a pan of peppermint fudge in the fridge.

The dog has a bald patch on her butt and her mouth is doing this weird thing.

The Bad

I have seriously fallen off the good food, no drinks during the week wagon. But only for today.

The dog's breath stinks.

The kitchen trash smells like poopy diapers.

The Good

There is a pan of peppermint fudge in the fridge minus one piece which is in my belly. (It's cheater fudge- 16 squares semi-sweet Baker's chocolate, can of sweetened condensed milk, teaspoon vanilla, teaspoon peppermint extract- melt in the microwave, stirring every 30 seconds, pour in foil-lined 8 inch Pyrex and chill for 2 hours.)

There is a cold beer in my hand.

Maggie went to bed early tonight.

Ensuring Her Only Child Status

2011-10-20T11:02:00.001-05:00

4 Lyfe

One Of Those Mornings

2011-10-18T05:47:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those mornings where I lock the baby and me in to the living room (all baby-proofed), put in a movie and snooze with one eye open while Maggie wakes me up every few seconds dropping toys on my head.

At least I always think it's totally baby proofed until I open my eyes and see an entire box of wipes neatly arranged in a pile around the baby and her chubby little hand stuck in the opening.

Coffee, please.

Laundry Is My Weakness

2011-10-14T03:10:00.002-05:00

Also titled "Why It Takes Me A Week To Do Two Loads Of Laundry"

Day 1: Bitch about needing to do laundry all day.

Day 2: Manage to get one basket of laundry to garage.

Day 3: Get all laundry to garage and SWEAR this time it will be different and I'll just do it all at once. Wash two loads.

Day 4: Have to wash second load again because I forgot I was doing laundry and they soured in the washer.

Day 5: No really, all clothes washed and dried

Day 6: Need clothes bad enough to get them all folded.

Day 7: Manage to get basket of folded and sorted clothes taken upstairs.

Day 8: Put clothes away. Put two new loads of dirty clothes in now-empty baskets and start bitching about needing to do laundry.

Pull Out My Hair OR.....

2011-10-11T05:01:00.002-05:00

You know what's way more fun than doing laundry, pre-cooking meals, cleaning, addressing envelopes, or napping during Maggie's first nap?

Cruise research!

Smells Like Teen Angst

2011-10-10T09:35:00.002-05:00

Since we moved to Germany I no longer have satellite radio and my car does not have an auxiliary input (I know right?!? It's a 2007 model, for crying out loud!) so I am severely limited in my radio choices. Since it's a 30 minute drive to the nearest base, all this car time adds up. I've found three stations I can handle: the Canadian military channel, a German dance channel, and a German channel that plays Top 40 stuff from 80's to present. My car won't even pick up the American military channel.

So I recently found my two CD cases that lived in my car for years and years. Actually, these cases have lived in every car I've ever driven, starting with my 1987 Nissan Maxima and going all the way through my sweet Hyundai. I found CDs I'm embarrassed to own (City of Angels soundtrack, my junior and senior recitals, Better Than Ezra) and CDs I was SO EXCITED to find.

Music is obviously a huge part of who I am. When it came time to graduate high school and pick a major the only thing I could think of that I was interested in and was pretty good at was band (NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!) so I decided a music degree would serve me well. Haha. It served me well while I was working at PetSmart. Not.

In high school I largely had no original thoughts of my own. I mostly listened to whatever my friends were listening to and never sought out new music or waited raptly for a new album to drop. Here is my list of songs and/or albums that meant a lot to me in high school.

Bush: 6Teen Stone- This was the first CD I discovered in the car the other day and playing the song "Machine Head" actually got a physical response from me. My belly did a flip-flop and I got and involuntary grin on my face. I remembered every. single. word. to every song on the album, which is weird because I don't even really know what he's saying for the most part. This song reminds me very much of a boy I had a crush on for at least five years. A boy that I don't think I ever actually spoke to so he most likely did not know I was alive. If he had known I existed, the big feather plume sticking out of my band hat would have scared him right away.

Sublime: Sublime, 40 oz. to Freedom, Bradley Nowell Acoustic- (I don't know why it's called acoustic. He's playing electric guitar in most of the tracks. Should have been called "Unaccompanied.") I was introduced to this band shortly after the lead singer's death and I still have a huge spot in my little musical heart for these albums. My best friend Corey and our group of friends wore these CDs out. So much so that I have multiple copies of each one. These remind me of the days of my friends' garage band practices, Friday night football games, and staying out all night.

Alanis Morissette: Jagged Little Pill- I listened to this in the car today and most of these songs are atrocious. But this CD graced my little 3-disc CD changer on repeat for several years.

No Doubt: Tragic Kingdom: This was my "girly" CD that I rocked out to. Now that I think about it, I can't even remember who I used to listen to this with.

President of the United States of America: Presidents of the United States of America

Everclear: So Much For The Afterglow

Green Day: Dookie

Sugar Ray: Floored

What does high school sound like to you?

You Need These In Your Life

2011-10-07T04:26:00.001-05:00

Bake the cupcakes then use a pastry bag to squirt the fudge directly in the top of the cupcake. Makes them like little chocolate Gushers. Then add the frosting on top and die of yum.

Trashy

2011-10-06T12:43:00.000-05:00

Trash here is a tricky thing. At our house we have three trash cans and one yellow bag- the yellow bag is for plastic and metal and packaging like styrofoam, one trash can is for paper and cardboard only, one trash can is for organic trash like fruit and veggie leftovers, coffee grounds, egg shells and the like, and the last trash can is for whatever is left and is called residual. They don't pick up glass at all, so it all hangs out in our garage until we get motivated enough to take it back to base. Which so far has been once since we lived here. You get money back when you take glass back too.

We are allowed unlimited yellow bags. I think you have to pay for them by the roll but Nicola just gives us ours.

You are allowed one dumpster of residual every two weeks. The dumpsters are about a quarter of the size of American's dumpsters at their houses.

We are allowed two full sized dumpsters of paper every four weeks.

Our bio trash goes on to compost heaps in the back of the house.

So that leaves us with residual. You are not allowed a lot, which is Europe's way of forcing you to recycle (it is the law but we've never had them reject any of our trash or anything like that) and I love that about Europe. We recycled a lot when we lived in the States and it was a lot harder then because we had to separate it all and drive it to base once a month or so. We are currently in disposable diapers again (bad Audra- BAD!) so our residual is not only really smelly but pretty full every two weeks.

So when you forget to set out your residual on trash day, it is a pretty big deal. I don't recommend forgetting the week after you have a birthday party at your house either.

Just a little FYI, brought to you by me.

"Fashion"

2011-10-03T05:44:00.000-05:00

Matt is coming home today after 10 days away. I saved my shower for today (I'm usually an every-other-dayer) and reshaved my legs after hacking them up by trying to dry-shave them in a rush yesterday because I wanted to wear shorts to a festival I was going to and instead I ended up looking like I had actually bathed them in acid. I'm going to actually dry my hair WITH A HAIR DRYER and I painted my (and Maggie's!) toenails since pedicures are out of the question for a myriad of reasons.

I'm trying to make an effort to look nice for him because normally I look like a total slob. I know we won't go anywhere the rest of the day, so when I was picking out something to wear, I wanted sexy but comfy. I even had a clean basket of laundry and ALL my bras (both of them) are clean so I couldn't even play the "no clean clothes" card. The outfit I came up with....

Yoga pants and a tank top.

Matt is a lucky man. The yoga pants don't make me have muffin top so he won't have the opportunity to compare me to breakfast foods. I cannot wait to start working and be able to dress nice every day.

This post was brought to you by my very low self-esteem these days. *Frowny face*

One

2011-09-30T10:18:00.000-05:00

I am working on Maggie's one year post. A canceled photo session, a quick birthday trip to the Black Forest, and a husband on TDY have made it not happen yet, but I thought I'd go ahead and post this slideshow, which makes me cry every time I watch it.

No, I'm not pregnant. I never will be again.

I picked the song because I love Parenthood and thought Dylan's version of "Forever Young" would be perfect for my slide show, then I searched for it on iTunes and came up with this cover by a girl named, NO LIE GUYS-

Audra Mae.

This may be my new life theme song.

Month Twelve

2011-09-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Maggie,

Well, the month we have waited for for one year has finally come! You are one year old now and you are almost a real little girl!

You are walking all over the place, but only as long as you're holding one of someone's fingers. Preferably Mommy's, but Daddy's will work too. You have been able to take a few steps for about a month now, and in the last few days you have tentatively taken steps on your own- without help or prodding.

Daddy was in Freudenstadt in the Black Forest on your birthday so I packed you up and we got in the car with our best girl friends and headed down to spend the night with Daddy. You were such a good girl and Daddy was so excited to spend your birthday with you.

Eyes bigger than stomach

One of your favorite things to play is Telephone. It started with a toy cell phone you were given. You pick it up and put it up to your ear and yell, "AUP!" which I am pretty sure is "Hello!" You'll "talk" on the phone for a while. I am not really sure where you picked this up because we don't have real phones and when I do talk on the phone I'm usually on speaker phone, but you definitely know what you're doing! You've branched out to using whatever for a phone- remote control, calculator, toys, food (one night you used a bell pepper), and most recently, your foot.

"Get me Detroit on the horn!"

Daddy and I made you this little kitchen for your birthday. Daddy hated every second of it, but he did it with love, Baby Girl. It isn't completely finished, but you are enjoying exploring it anyway. You got the little grocery cart as a birthday present and it is fast becoming one of your favorite toys.

You are getting so big! You are still wearing 12 month clothes and size 4 diapers. I finally bought you a few pairs of shoes, and you wear a 3-4 in US sizes and 18-19 in German sizes. You don't mind the shoes at all and you'll actually bring me your little slippers to put on you sometimes.

You are so funny! You laugh at everything and you love to play peekaboo. You love to put everything in your mouth and you think I don't notice when you shove leaves in there. You feed Roxy treats and sneak her food off your high chair, which you think is hilarious!

You are still babbling a lot, and I think you've said "banana" (bababa), "Daddy" (dada), "Woof woof!" (hoo! hoo!), and "hello" (AUP!). You stop what you're doing anytime you hear applause and start clapping. It is completely adorable when we're at one of Daddy's concerts or when you hear it on TV or the radio.

You are completely finished with bottles and formula and you only get your pacifier in the crib for naps and bed. You still sleep 14 hours straight a night and you take at least one really good nap a day and if we schedule it right you'll take two. But you're fine without the second nap too, so it really just depends on what we are doing that day.

You love to walk in the grass and go pick apples off our trees. You sit and read your books over and over and you've started to bring them to me for me to read. You love your mama and you will crawl over to me and sit in my lap to play with your toys. You are such a happy baby and we could not be luckier!

Every night Daddy takes you upstairs to take a bath and I hear the two of you talking and laughing. You love it when he puts you in your crib to get the water started and then sneaks up on you and surprises you at your door. These nights I sit downstairs and hear you squeal with delight to see your Daddy and hear your Daddy giggle at you and sing you songs and give you your bath and I know that you were the perfect addition to our family. You completed us and made us whole and we would not trade you for the world! Happy birthday sweet girl. Thanks for not killing us in the first year. We love you so, so, so much!

We love you THIS big!

Love,

Mama

A Perfect Sunday

2011-09-26T08:53:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Nicola asked me if I wanted to go to an art exhibit with her and I accepted. The weather could not have been more perfect, they were serving neuwein (I can't explain it right, but it's sweet, cloudy wine that I think is the very first wine from a batch), and flammkuchen (sorta like pizza but awesomer) and there was a ton for Maggie to get in to. I love these surprise events!

There was art displayed in the farm house and all over the beautiful garden. It was such a perfect Sunday!

They Did The Birthday Bash

2011-09-25T16:30:00.000-05:00

Maggie's first birthday party happened on Friday. I cannot believe we just finished this milestone! It is definitely bittersweet in more ways than one, but the most bitter part is not being able to share occasions like this with our families. If I could have bought 25 plane tickets to Germany for Maggie's birthday I definitely would have done that. But, I guess that's what the blog is for!

There were many, many fails associated with this birthday party. With all the failings, though, it turned out to be a great night. I will remember it forever and I'll especially remember all of our good friends that made it such a special night.

Without further ado, the party in pictures and stories.

Maggie's friend Logan from our swim classes came! He has gotten so big just in the last 2 months and he is crawling everywhere!

"Are you kidding?! I'm almost ONE? How are my crow's feet?"

It took me more than two full days to prepare all of the food. If it hadn't been for our friend Stacie and Matt I would have NEVER gotten even half of this done.

From the top of the table clockwise, I made s'mores pops (without sticks), veggie strips in ranch dip, fresh fruit cut up, miniature cheeseburgers, sausage balls, Swiss cheese mice on crackers, and the cake.

The first huge mistake I should tell you about is the sausage balls. I have eaten sausage balls approximately one million times in my life and I know that I've seen my mother make them about half those times. I decided to make a double batch, knowing we'd have a lot of hungry people to feed so I bought two pounds of sausage (PICK UP A POUND OR TWO OF TENNESSEE PRIDE!), two pounds of shredded cheese, and a whole box of Bisquick. In my ever-preparedness I thought I'd get a head start on the project and brown the sausage the day before. Then on party day (three hours til party time) I was making the sausage balls and they just weren't coming together right and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I did wrong... then I suddenly realized you're supposed to start with raw sausage.

Eff word.

Luckily Matt was home so he threw Maggie in the car and ran down to the nearest base (30 minutes away) and got me more supplies. Nicola took my mess and made some sort of pumpkin potato scramble out of it.

The cheese mice are Laughing Cow cheese wedges cut in half height-wise with pepperoni ears, olive noses, and sesame seed eyes. They are supposed to have tails and I was also supposed to take a shower before the party. Neither was accomplished.

The next huge screw up you should know about is that I ordered a custom cake from a baker. It was going to be awesome- a baby zombie cake since our theme was "We Survived!" It got to be two days before the party and I hadn't heard much from the baker so I shot her an email to ask about payment, etc... and she told me she'd send me an invoice in a few days. I had forgotten to tell her that MONTHS ago I changed the party date. It was not her fault in the slightest, but now I had to make a birthday cake on top of all the other stuff I had to do. Yeah, I could have bought a commissary cake but I really wanted it to be special.

I ended up making a rainbow cake (from scratch, including the icing) and in my ever-preparedness I forgot to leave some cake batter for a cupcake for Maggie to have. *Sigh*

So about an hour before the party I got out my huge cupcake tin and filled one cup with Things That Go In Cake Batter in no particular order or proportion. I also decided it should be chocolate cake so I threw in a spoon full of cocoa powder. I baked it for, um, a while, and it turned out edible. Maybe even sort of good, if not a little dense.

When I was icing the big cake (which I ran out of just icing between the layers and Matt had to bring me another pound of powdered sugar to seal the deal) I forgot to leave icing for the mini cupcake, so I had to again make that up. I used butter, what little powdered sugar I had left, some milk, and some red food coloring.

I'd say she didn't mind at all that it was kind of a huge mess-up.

Rare teeth-shot!

Maggie of course got many gifts, all of which she absolutely LOVED, especially the next day.

This dog is never far away from her baby. Or cupcakes.

Logan was happy with the tissue paper. Seriously, this kid could not have loved boxes, bags, and wrapping paper more had it been a stack of mud pies.

"Psst, Logan! There's TOYS inside the boxes!"

My plan was for Maggie to get tired after cake and presents, but there was waaaay too much fun stuff going on, so our favorite Hartung girls took her upstairs for a bath and PJs and she came back down to party some more. She lasted the whole time, but when it was time for bed she was really ready for that too.

Loving Mr. Frank's hat

A VERY rare Nicola sighting! She couldn't love Maggie more if she were her own.

Getting some action early!

Our decor was.... original, I think. I'll have to see if my "photographer" happened to get any of the things I had hung up. I hope so, because they were pretty funny! One thing I had up though was this collage with the words "WE SURVIVED" stamped across it and "12 months of crying" written under it.

Maggie's party was so much fun, and I had such a great time preparing for it! I so wish all our families could be here to see our little girl growing up, but for now pictures will have to do. Look for our ONE YEAR post coming on Wednesday!

This And That. That And This.

2011-09-21T12:12:00.001-05:00

Today we used a commissary gift card that we got when Maggie was born. We used it for her 1st birthday party supplies. I bought 300 Ziploc bags today and I couldn't be more excited if it were 300 wiggly puppies. Maggie's birthday present has turned out to be much more difficult than we thought and has proven the fact that we should not even own tools, much less be allowed to use them. I told my baker the wrong weekend for Maggie's birthday party and now I have to make the cake myself. Shouldn't be a problem, just a little more hassle. I managed to stay of Twitter ALL day and stupid BlogHer homepage had the Dancing With The Stars results posted all over it. I've had 2 Cokes this week. That is 1 more than my allotment but wine hangovers are the wooooorst. We took Roxy to a wine festival Sunday and she had a freaking blast. She is so lazy though that she was totally sore the whole next day. As soon as I complete five towers of paperwork including visits to the police station, Access Control, and the flight medicine clinic, I'll be a music sub for the high school on base. I can't WAIT to get back in the classroom! That's all. Bye!

The Better Half. The One That Makes Money.

2011-09-19T05:03:00.002-05:00

*This post is tooting my husband's horn. A lot. Feel free to skip it.*

The other night I FINALLY got to go see Matt play with his brass quintet at a local town hall. I always forget how amazing he is until I hear him play again, and that usually reminds me why he does what he does. It sort of justifies all those years of "Yes, we can go out tonight but I have to practice first," "You go to the store without me. I need to practice," "I know Dirty Dancing is out in theaters again but I seriously need to practice," and lugging trumpets and mouthpieces and practice mutes around the world.

He really practices everywhere. All our friends and family can attest to this.

New Year's Eve, 2009 in New Orleans

I have seriously never met anyone as dedicated to his craft as Matt. His constant need for knowledge about his instrument and his profession has always been a little annoying and a lot impressive to me. ("Oh my god, hush! Is this Chicago doing Mahler? TURN IT UP!!!!) He has spent, quite literally, years studying music, listening to everything he can get his ears on, buying new music, practicing everything from concertos to marches to Broadway standards.

Nice stick

One of the very best things about our marriage is that even though we still play games like "I-Just-Ate-A-Clove-Of-Garlic-Smell-My-Breath" and "I-Can-Drink-More-Than-You," we have some of the most intelligent conversations of anyone I've ever spent lots of time with. Matt is so smart, especially about music, that sometimes it blows my mind. I mean, I know an awful lot about what baby poop is supposed to look like and proper temperature for re-seasoning your Lodge cast iron skillet, but my knowledge pales in comparison.

So anytime I get a chance to hear Matt play, I am always eager to hear. It never fails to give me school-girl butterflies when I hear him play, and I always sit in the audience with a goofy-ass grin on my face. And at his concert last week, which was attended by every person over the age of 65 in the village of Huetschenhausen (I don't know how to make an umlaut [the two little dots above the "u"] so I added an "e". I think that's right.), I heard all the little old ladies talking about his fantastic playing. I'm pretty sure there were many lady boners in that room that night.

But guess who got to go home with that cute, awesome trumpet player? This girl. :)

New Teethies

2011-09-15T16:27:00.001-05:00

Maggie has four new teeth.

Which are impossible to photograph.

Especially with an iPhone camera.

Years Ago

2011-09-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

Ten Years Ago- September 11, 2001

Ten years ago, I was a sophomore in college, getting ready to go to my 9:00 music theory class when I saw a plane hit the twin towers on The Today Show. "Weird," I thought, "That plane took a REALLY wrong turn." I left for class and was told upon my arrival it was believed to be a terrorist attack. I thought my friends were silly, sensationalizing a news story, and paranoid. After class it was confirmed, and I think we were all sent home for the day. The only other thing I remember about that day and the days following are spending a lot of time watching the news and being very, very scared for my safety.

Nine Years Ago- September 11, 2002

I reported to the Nashville MEPS (military entrance and processing station) to take the ASVAB and prepare to hand over my life to the US Army. Well, one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer of my life. I didn't care that we were a nation about to go to war (we hadn't officially declared war yet- that wouldn't happen until March of the next year, surprisingly). I only cared that I thought I failed the ASVAB's mechanics section. (I didn't fail- not even close).

Seven Years Ago- September 11, 2004

I was in my first year of teaching K-8th grade music and band. It was the second most miserable year of my life.

Four Years Ago- September 11, 2007

I was in my second year of teaching, this time 6-12th grade band. It WAS the most miserable year of my life. This year and the previous year were the only two years I lived away from Matt. Misery noted.

One Year Ago- September 11, 2010

I was one year married and nine months pregnant. I was with the two most important people, one beside me and one inside me. Ready to pop. Ready to stop sharing my body. Ready for love to multiply.

Today- Ten Years Later

I look at my daughter, pushing around cars and "reading" books to me, and wonder how I am going to explain this kind of evil to her some day. How I'm going to teach her that there are people in this world that are not good and how to spot them. I sometimes feel almost guilty for bringing her in to this world- the world where people are so intent to harm one another.

On the anniversary of this date, let's try not to think about evil, war, harm, and intolerance. Let's think about love. Your family, your husband, your children, your partner, your best friend, your neighbor.

Love.

Love each other. Love the planet. Love yourself.

Love. Not hate.

Just Checking

2011-09-08T16:04:00.001-05:00

Blogger has an iPhone app now, so I'm checking it out. Should be better for formatting and stuff than emailing posts. Emailing usually cuts off my text if I break paragraphs. Like the recycle one was supposed to have 3 more sections.

Picture is the view from my head on the pillow in my bedroom.

The streetlight is out. It's dark.

Recycle, Peeps

2011-09-06T13:48:00.000-05:00

Recycling is mandatory by law in Germany. They come and pick it all up for you (you separate) except glass. Since I'm afraid of German grocery stores we have been hoarding all our glass. For 8 months.

It's Freezing

2011-09-05T04:40:00.000-05:00

I've been on a freezer foods kick lately. I'm not sure why but I find myself scouring aisles in the grocery store thinking, "Can I freeze this?" (gumbo starter- yes; Jello- no) I guess I'm just SURE a blizzard is going to take out our power, which is stupid because how on earth would we thaw frozen soup? I don't know, but I'M PREPARED.

The first thing I made was based on this tutorial from an internet friend of mine, The Virtuous Wife. They are breakfast burritos and I made 8 last week and they were gone within days so I made 8 more. I am going to make a double batch next time. Please do visit Amanda's blog for some more tutorials- the girl is a fantastic cook- but I'll give you the basic rundown of the burritos: Make breakfast burritos with sausage or bacon, eggs, cheese, and green onions, and wrap them in wax paper. Freeze in Ziploc bags, and reheat for 1 1/2-2 minutes. PERFECT breakfast!

*Recipes at the bottom of the post for the following soups, stews, and sauces*

*When possible I use organic ingredients, such as the chicken, veggies, and beef.*

*Feel free to ignore them or use them*

*Feel free to just skip this post altogether*

Then I had a soup day where I made beef stew, chicken noodle soup, black bean soup, and my homemade spaghetti sauce. It was a very fun day! I boiled a whole chicken first, then just tended to my soups and sauces until everything was done. I let them cool in their pots for a couple of hours then put them in double servings in gallon Ziplocs, labeled, and froze flat in the freezer. I've learned that if you just stack Ziploc bags in the freezer they will stick together and you'll have to defrost both bags so I now freeze with a sheet of wax paper between the bags. Works great.

A couple of days later I was inspired by a huge can of pumpkin I was bequeathed in the Richters' PCS. So I made pumpkin bread (one big loaf and six mini loaves) and froze the mini loaves. Maggie loves them for breakfast. Matt loves snacking on the big loaf. I had half a can of pumpkin left over so I found a recipe in my trusty red plaid BHG cookbook for spiced pumpkin and shrimp soup. I happened to have all the ingredients! When I boiled the chicken I had a TON of chicken stock left over so I filled up a pitcher and put it in the fridge and now I don't have to buy chicken stock. There was plenty of soup left over so we froze that too.

My freezer is bursting at the seams with frozen goodies! What is your favorite freezer meal?

Spaghetti Sauce

1 lb ground beef, ground turkey, or chicken
2 large ripe tomatoes
1 can tomato sauce
2-3 cloves of garlic
1 onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
(You can sneak any other veggies in to the sauce that you want- I have done squash and eggplant and no one is the wiser)
10 button mushrooms, sliced
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, or oregano, basil, sage, and thyme

I use a Lodge cast iron Dutch oven for this recipe.

Brown hamburger meat, drain and set aside (I drain in the colander and leave it in the sink)

Put a little oil in the pot and let it get hot. Throw in the onion, garlic, bell pepper, and whatever other veggies you are using. When they are tender and your mouth is watering from the smell of frying onions and garlic, turn the heat down to a 3 and throw in everything else. For the seasonings, I just shake a bunch in there until it starts to smell good. DO NOT UNDERSALT!

Let cook for 1 hour minimum, but it can stay on low heat for hours and hours. I thaw out a bag of this when I want to cook lasagna, spaghetti, or I just need a sauce for some pasta I've cooked.

Chicken Noodle Soup

I'm going to be honest here, I had no idea what I was doing and I don't know if I did this "right" but we'll see later!

1 5-6 lb. whole chicken
1 bag of egg noodles
Poultry seasoning or rubbed dry sage
3 ribs celery, chopped
1 onion, chopped

I used a giant stock pot for this one. If you don't have all day, it may be helpful to either buy a cooked rotisserie chicken or cook the chicken a day in advance.

Put the whole chicken in the stock pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil (this will take some time- minimum 30 minutes or so), then simmer over medium heat for about 2 hours. Remove chicken from pot and let cool (30 more minutes or so), then remove skin and bones. Discard carcass or dissect and marvel over the sheer number of bones chickens have. Gag at chicken neck and gizzard and/or feed to dog.

Preserve 6 cups of stock or buy your own.

Slightly brown onions and celery in a bit of vegetable oil. You can use the stock pot for this if it's empty or you can just use a skillet. Since it was soup cooking DAY I had a cast iron skillet available for browning things.

Bring the stock back to a boil and add salt and the package of noodles. Cook for 10 minutes or so. Add sage to taste (I like to taste it so I just shook a bunch of it in there until it looked and smelled right), and add chicken.

Ta-daaaaaaa! Chicken soup with no preservatives!

I used most of the chicken but saved some for chicken salad and Maggie's dinners. I was so pleased with boiling a whole chicken that I did it again later that week.

Black Bean Soup
2 cans black beans
2 cups chicken stock
1 small can green chiles
1 pack taco seasoning (too much sodium for me)
OR
1 Tbs cumin, 2 Tbs chili powder, 1 Tbs garlic, salt and pepper to taste
cayenne pepper to taste

I used my small Lodge cast iron bean pot for this. I don't actually like beans so I made this one just for Matt and Nicola.

Put everything in pot and heat up. Stir. Add as much cayenne as you like- again, this wasn't for me and I know Matt likes spicy food so I put a lot in.

Hangover Cure

2011-09-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

When there's no ice cold can of Coke to be found, this will work in a pinch:

Juice of 1 lime
Juice of 1 lemon
2 Tbs sugar
Mix juice and sugar until sugar dissolves. Pour a can of club soda over, add a sprig of mint (or don't) and chug.

No more partying with the Germans for a while. Well, for one week.

Der Apfel

2011-09-01T15:04:00.001-05:00

*All these photos were taken with my iPhone, which had been nommed by Maggie in the grocery store then stuck in my back pocket. This caused condensation on the camera lens but I'm choosing to just say I gave these pictures a "hazy glow." Enjoy!*

Today we went apple picking in our own back yard.

Maggie loves chomping on apples

We have two kinds of apples- greenish pink ones that are kind of tart and red ones that are out of this world good.

Maggie loves chomping on 2 apples

I never used to think there was a big difference between grocery store produce and home grown, but I'm a believer now. I've never had a fruit smell so good in my kitchen before! The whole downstairs smells like yummy fresh apples.

Because that's what's in there.

Whatcha got, Rox?

Oh, a apple.

The limbs are absolutely heavy with apples. Maggie really just wanted the rotten ones on the ground or the tiny ones that never grew into big apples.

I picked a apple.

The red ones

The trees are so heavy with apples that Nicola had to prop the limbs up with sticks

All Maggie wanted to do was walk around holding my finger.

We also have a pear tree that produced these guys but they won't be ready until fall. They are pretty big but still hard as rocks. Or hard as my boobs when I was breast feeding.

I love apples and apple heads.

Motte (Moth) the cat was really interested in the pond.

Well, That Was Awkward

2011-08-30T05:50:00.002-05:00

Doing new things for the first time really intimidates me. I was terrified to walk in to a German grocery store for the first time, the first time I went to a German cafe I ordered "fisch" because it was the only word I recognized, I won't take my glass to the recycling place because I don't know where in the store to take it and what the protocol is, and I almost didn't get ice cream at Ikea last time because when you buy a cone they give you a coin and I didn't know what to do with it. And I didn't want to look like an idiot trying to figure it out.

So when I decided to tackle H&M (big clothing store in downtown Kaiserslautern) alone yesterday I was feeling pretty brave. I had Maggie, I had a vague idea of where to park and how to pay for it (even though I can't read the prepay stations so I always just put in a whole Euro which is probably too much) and an even vaguer idea of where to walk. I also had cash on me so I didn't have to worry about wrangling debit cards because that can be kind of tricky here.

(If anyone ever tries to tell you that you can use your credit/debit card pretty much anywhere in Europe, they are WRONG. Most grocery stores, gas stations, cafes, etc. don't take them. And if you CAN use it, the exchange rate is almost always not worth it.)

When I got to the parking lot I knew I wanted to be at, I was immediately intimidated by the multitude of school children getting off buses right in front of me, in particular a group of gothy, punky kids right across the street from me. I'm not afraid of these people, I'm just worried I look American and they are talking shit about me.

I look young to have a baby.

I drive a car MUCH bigger than most Germans do.

My baby is eating a chocolate chip cookie from Subway. And holding a full liter bottle of SmartWater.

I don't dress very well anymore.

I always have a muffin top, even in yoga pants (I need new pants).

My baby has bare feet and I'm wearing a jacket.

There are many reasons the teenagers could be talking shit about me. They probably don't even notice me but I always think all eyes are on me.

I successfully parked, got the baby and bag in to the stroller, locked my car and purchased my parking ticket, and headed to where I THOUGHT the store was. I had only walked a couple of blocks when I decided I should consult my iPhone map to make sure I was doing the right thing. I put "H&M" into the search and asked for walking directions and the results were that there IS an H&M but it's nearly a mile and a half away and it's going to take me 30 minutes to walk there.

I thought that couldn't be right and I remembered it being pretty close so I decided to go with my gut and I turned out to be right. I found the baby section with no problem and spent 18 Euros less than I brought. Yay!

I've been feeling really down about my appearance lately (muffin top, blotchy skin, bad hair, aging face [DON'T DO SUNTANS, kids! Pale, not ail!], bad fashion, skank-stache) so I have been thinking about trying some makeup. I don't do makeup and I don't even know how, and the two times I've gone to a makeup counter to have someone else do it professionally I end up looking like a clown and everyone decides I look better without it, so I just go au naturel. That hasn't been working very well for me lately though. I feel pretty ugly.

So when I left H&M with 18 Euros in my wallet, I decided to wander into the makeup store across the street. It reminded me of a German Ulta or Sephora. I have a small stash of makeup left over from my wedding which includes Bare Essentials foundation, blush, bronzer, and a couple of eyeshadows, plus some Clinique mascara. I DO like how I look in mascara, and I used to wear it on occasion. So I thought the only thing missing was an eyeliner pencil, which I'm terrified of.

I walked into the store which had a convenient stroller ramp next to its stairs and stopped at the first display I found and picked up an eyeliner pencil named "Midnight" by Bobbi Brown. I also picked up a bottle of nail polish since I guess pedicures are too expensive here. I went straight to the counter with my purchases and as soon as it was my turn the cashier (who was heavily made up) started speaking German to me really fast.

Now, I was already very nervous about being in a German store knowing very little German, let alone being in a MAKEUP store, which I know absolutely zero about. When she finished talking I said feebly, "Uh, English?" This is really stupid because I know perfectly well how to say "I do not speak German" "I speak English" and "I speak very little German." Luckily in K-Town most everyone speaks English, especially the younger people so she blinked once, looked at me and said "Um, this is a tester? The pencil? Do you want me to get you one that has not been opened?"

Oh, God.

I felt like such a dumbass. In my hurry to choose something, look like I know what the hell I'm doing, and get the hell out of there, I picked up the stupid tester. I turned bright red, apoligized and said yes, I would LOVE for her to get me a new one.

*Blush, blush.*

So she came back to the register and rang me up and mumbled a total that sounded like 24.95 Euros. That surely couldn't be right because I knew for a fact the nail polish was less than five Euros and surely a freaking EYELINER PENCIL did not cost twenty Euros, because that is nearly $30, my friends. I handed her a five thinking she had actually said 4.95 and she looked expectantly at me.

I was already so damn embarrassed that I wasn't going to admit that I would most certainly not be paying twenty Euros for a damn pencil that I was almost certainly going to poke in my eyeball and blind myself trying to look pretty for all the people I see every day (Maggie, Roxy, Matt, some strangers in the grocery store) so I just kept my eyes down, pulled out my debit card and prayed that they took it.

They did.

I haven't told Matt yet that I accidentally spent nearly $40 yesterday on nail polish and a pencil.

Don't get mad, okay?

"Fun Run" Is An Oxymoron

2011-08-28T08:26:00.000-05:00

I hate working out.

I like yoga class (working out but feeling like you're not, so you feel all haughty), I like walking. I like swimming for leisure. But there's one thing I HATE most of all. More than anything else in the entire universe:

Running.

I hate running with a passion usually reserved for root canals (rather get one than run), hemorrhoids (um, this one is inconclusive), and paying taxes (hey, at least I don't have to run).

At basic training, I was obviously required to run. A lot. And I was terrible at it and I never got much better. I know that I am doing something wrong, otherwise I wouldn't hate running so much. The worst part of my days at basic training was the five minute warm-up and stretch before we started running. The dreaded words "DOUBLE TIME!" are enough to make me want to punch kittens in the vag. Then right after the run I would go ahead and start dreading the next run two days later. Because, you know, you don't have much to think about at basic.

When I see my friends' status updates on Facebook touting their awesome 65 mile run in just under two hours this morning I am partly jealous, partly guilty, and partly relieved that it's not me. The thing is, I know that running would be a great way for me to drop these extra pounds and doesn't running usually make you feel much better about yourself?

So, what am I doing wrong, runner friends? Why do I hate running so much? I have tried many times to convert myself in to a runner. I can't even pinpoint what about it I hate so much. I just feel like shit afterwards and then I immediately start thinking of excuses not to do it again.

Tell me what to do.

Month Eleven

2011-08-28T07:00:00.001-05:00

Dear Maggie,

This month, like the past few, has been just incredible. You are learning so quickly and we are watching you morph right before our eyes in to a little girl.

If only you'd get some hair.

Ain't got no herrs on mah head.

You are very much in learning mode and you investigate everything around you. The drawer in the picture below is your favorite, but instead of locking it shut I fixed it where it won't shut all the way and put some toys in it for you. Before I put the toys in it though you were just pulling out everything that was in it and destroying it.

According to this your balance is 470 bottles.

You learned to use your little piggies to balance so where you used to just let go of something for a second to stand up, you are now standing pretty regularly and able to use your limbs to stay upright.

You have hit a lull in your growth and you are still wearing 9 month and 12 month clothes, and size 3 diapers. You started making this really funny face where you scrunch up your nose and blow air out and smile. It is hilarious!

I see this end of you far more often than the other end.

You absolutely love your Daddy, Roxy, and all other cats and dogs. You can say dog- "Daw!" - and Mama. You have conversations all the time with yourself, the TV, and inanimate objects, but only you know what you're saying. It is completely adorable! We think you might have said "banana" the other day too. Whenever you look into a mirror you smile, stick your tongue out, and kiss yourself. We have a book that has a little mirror on every page and you love to turn the pages and "Kiss the baby!" on every page.

Your investigation skills are pretty impressive, dear girl! You can get all the way up our flight of scary stairs by yourself (with me right behind you to prevent horrible accidents- but so far you haven't needed me!), you love to open the kitchen drawers and bring me a bag of yogurt melts or a box of crackers, and you have figured out how to stick your finger up your nose.

Fun stuff goes in here and I am fun.

You are a very good eater and will eat almost anything I put in front of you. Eggs, cheese, meat, ravioli, fruits, veggies, whatever. You love to stuff your piggy little face! We are down to one bottle a day and the rest of your milk comes from your sippy cups.

You only get your pacifier for bed and naps, and when I come get you you hand me the sucker. If you don't I just say "Give me your sucker!" and you hand it right over.

You took your very first steps on your 11 month birthday! You can walk about 4 or 5 steps without any help, but you do need some prodding to get started. You love to hold on to one finger and walk with Mama or Daddy.

This month has been bittersweet for me, sweet girl. You're edging out of your second nap of the day, you're almost walking, and you're almost talking. I know that becoming a little girl is very close and since you are our only pancake, we are really going to miss having a baby. So keep growing, Punkinhead, but maybe don't make it so fast!

Love,

Mama

Perfect Apple Streusel

2011-08-25T03:26:00.000-05:00

A few random thoughts before I get to my recipe.

There have been anxiety-inducing storms lately and yesterday an afternoon storm knocked our power half-out. Have you ever experienced this? The lights were flickering but on, and everything else would only half work. I turned on Maggie's fan for her nap and it sounded like my parents' 212 year old farm dog, Happy, taking her last breath. (Don't worry, it's never her last. She will never die.)

I pulled out a t-shirt to wear to bed last night and I kept smelling something awful. It's an Army PT shirt and evidently I didn't get it very clean because it smells just like it did last time I finished running in it, which would have been well over 2 years ago. Gross. Also, for the record, I don't run anymore.

We are going on a mediterranean cruise for Christmas. It starts in Italy, goes to Greece, then back to Italy with stops in Tunisia and Malta on the way. I sent the following text to Matt the other day:

"I'm worried about Libya. Is it safe to sail the Mediterranean right now? We are sailing right by Libya. What if a stray mortar hits our boat?"

"You damn kids get off my lawn!"- Ghaddafi, Ghaddafy, Qaddafi, Qaddaphy
Also, what the hell does a mortar even look like?

Yes, I'm that ridiculous person.

Ahem.

Yesterday was Nicola's birthday. She turned 35. Ish. give or take forty years. Well, if you took forty years she would be negative five, which doesn't exist so I'll just tell you she turned 70-something. Nicola loves my baking but thinks it's making her fat so when I asked her what kind of birthday cake she wanted she said, "Something not so sweet."

American desserts tend to be VERY sweet compared to German desserts. I'm going to generalize here, which is not usually a good thing to do but I think I'm right on this- Germans normally eat dessert with coffee a couple of hours before dinner. Kind of like English tea time. Nicola does this every day and some days I join her. These days I cannot fall asleep at night because of all the coffee I drank at "kaffee und kuche" time.

After my apple pie attempt the other day was a semi-success, I decided to try my hand at the Apple Streusel cake I learned to make at German baking class. I even went out and bought a Springform pan and now I'm excited to make cheesecake. Anyway. Here is the original recipe for the cake with my changes in parentheses.

Note that all measurements are metric and I used a kitchen scale to get all these weights correct. You should do the same. :)

Apfel Streuselkuche

You'll need:

40 grams raisins (I left these out)
400 grams flour
200 grams butter
1 medium egg
150 grams sugar (I only had like, 50 grams of regular sugar so I used light brown sugar for the rest and it was DEEEE-LISH)
1 Tsp vanilla sugar (you can't find this in the US unless you make it yourself, so you can use extract) (be a woman and use the real stuff- quit buying imitation!)
1 tsp baking powder
1 kilo apples, peeled and cored, quartered (this is about 2 lbs before slicing- I used ones off our trees in our backyard, but this works really well with any tart apple)
40 grams slivered almonds (I used chopped pecans because it's what I had- you can use anything or nothing)
1 tsp cinnamon
(I also added a half tsp nutmeg and about six whole cloves)
350 ml apple juice (I didn't have any so I used water)

Preheat your oven to 175 C or 350 F.

Using a mixer with a dough hook, knead together flour, butter, egg, 120 grams of the sugar, vanilla, and baking powder. (I don't have a dough hook so I did this by hand- it will make a dough similar to cookie dough. It will not come together like bread dough.) Refrigerate for 30 minutes (While this was refrigerating I prepped my apples)

Mix together apples, spices, raisins if you're using them, almonds, apple juice, and the remaining sugar in a large pot. Cover and cook for 5-7 minutes. Drain apples in a sieve and let dry. (I did not drain my apples, I just spooned them out, which may have been a bad idea because we kept chomping down on cloves)

Grease and flour (or use parchment paper) a 10 inch Springform pan. Use about 2/3- 3/4 of the dough mixture to form a crust in the pan. Press it into the pan and about an inch up the side. Place the apples in the pan on top of the dough and use the remaining dough to crumble on top to make a streusel. Really- don't stress about this step. I just kind of mashed it together before crumbling it so I had some really tiny crumbs and some pretty big chunks. I mixed the pecans in with the streusel before crumbling.

Bake 35-40 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool for 20 minutes or so, then remove the outer ring of the Springform.

Ta-daaaaaaa! The prettiest cake I've ever made.

Note the artistic placement of the apples despite my big, honking, ugly cake carrier

Why on earth I continue to post horrible unedited iPhone pictures when I have a perfectly nice DSLR is totally beyond me.

Oh wait, it's because I'm lazy.

(Don't) Be Jealous

2011-08-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

Grilling pork steaks, listening to Maggie wail from her crib because we have guests and she doesn't wanna go ta sleep, enjoying cool, crisp air that the storms brought in.

Thank God I'm a country girl.

An Open Letter To New Moms

2011-08-21T14:21:00.000-05:00

Dear New Mommy (or Mommy To Be),

Congratulations! You have a new baby! Chances are you've heard these questions a hundred times:

So, how's being a mom?
How is breastfeeding going?
Don't you just love newborns?
Are you getting any sleep?

The answers that are expected are:
IT'S WONDERFUL!
Oh, it's so easy and perfect! My milk came in within two minutes after birth and I have complete confidence that my child is not starving!
Oh yes, they smell so good and they are so sweet.
I sleep when the baby sleeps. That's what everyone tells me to do, right?

The answers you actually want to give are:
Um, it's nothing like I expected.
Can you not see the blood seeping through the muslin cloth I am draping over my chest because not even the weight of a t-shirt can be tolerated?
I did until I had to live with one.
Um, no.

I just want to let you know that it's okay to have bad feelings when you have a new baby. I'm sure there are some women who love every second of motherhood, but I'm equally sure most have at least a few moments, if not most moments in the day where they think "WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE DONE????"

Your adorable newborn is doing this:

Your husband is back at work.

The pressure is on to make the right decision every second of every day and despite reading a hundred books about how to do EVERY DAMN THING in the world regarding a baby, you still doubt every decision. When the baby squeaks just 30 minutes after her last feeding you immediately begin crying because you just don't want to take your boob out of your shirt again. You hear the poo-splosion and you just want to scream because you JUST put a clean diaper on five minutes ago.

Did she pee?

Why won't she burp?

IS SHE AWAKE AGAIN???

You are tired.
Your hair is falling out and you haven't brushed it in, oh, a month.
Your boobs are 2 different sizes and it feels like blood is shooting out them.
They are also hard as rocks and touching your chin.
Your baby's ass stinks.
You just broke down crying because you don't really want tacos for dinner but you just said you did.

It is not easy. It is mostly not fun. If you have a piece of shit partner, it is doubly not fun (luckily I had a piece of gold partner).

I just want to tell you, new mom, this one little nugget. This got me through a lot of dark days. This saved my life and my baby's multiple times. Just three words.

It gets better.

People kept telling me, and it never did get better. And I had an easy baby! But guess what? One day, when she was around six months old, it did get better. On this most recent two weeks with my husband gone, I realized that I actually enjoy being with my baby alone all day.

New Mommy, there is one more important thing you need to know. It is okay to not love it all the time. It is okay to admit that this is NOT what you expected and it kind of sucks, and yes you love your baby but sometimes you wonder what you've done. It's okay to ask for help too. It's okay to tell your husband, your mom, your best friend, your doctor, your pediatrician that you think you might need more help.

But don't worry New Mommy.

It gets better.

It gets better and it turns in to this and suddenly you realize why you did this in the first place. Because you love this tiny person more than anything, even your dogs, even your DVR YES THAT IS POSSIBLE!

It does get better. And when it does it is totally worth it.

This And That. That And This.

2011-08-19T09:30:00.000-05:00

The apple pie turned out great. It looked weird but tasted awesome!

I finally organized all my recipes into a binder. They were previously floating around in a drawer, stuck together with cake batter and melted cheese.

My next project is elderberry jam. We have two elderberry trees in our back yard and I am going to attempt canning again. I've done it once before and the strawberry jam came out great.

We got our power bill today. This is a big deal because you only get one per year. Usually what happens is they take the full amount you paid last year and split it into 12 payments and at the end of the year you either get a refund or have to pay the overage. Well, our house is new, so there was nothing to base it off of last year so we have been worried about how much we'd have to pay. But, we got good news this year!

Maggie can stand on her own now. She can't get to standing without help but once she's standing she can let go of whatever to play with a toy or inspect whatever she just took out of her mouth.

We booked a trip for Christmas this year. It was much cheaper than flying the three of us back to the states.

I'm going to be in the Black Forest with Matt and Maggie on her birthday next month.

I started a YouTube channel with Maggie videos if you're interested. Just go to YouTube and search for AudraKirkpatrick. (Creative, I know)

I'm addicted to Pinterest. One more thing to suck all my "free" time.

That's all. Bye!

Answers

2011-08-18T02:18:00.001-05:00

To the question "What's in your mouth?!":

Paper (more often than not)

A pebble

Potting soil

A tiny piece of a toy (they really mean for 3 and up)

A wad of dog hair

A live bug (?!?!?! BABY?!?!?!)

A piece of baby wipe

A Chex you found in the corner of the high chair. We haven't had Chex in a week.

....... There's never a dull moment with an almost-toddler in the house.

As German As Apple Pie

2011-08-16T10:17:00.000-05:00

We have a ton of apple trees on our "compound," for lack of a better word. So today I picked a few and set out to making a pie. Except I had a few problems.

I don't have a pie plate. No problem! I used an 8" cake round.

I don't know how to make pie crust. No problem! I have a box of Jiffy crust mix that I inherited in a PCS.

When I rolled out my crusts they were ugly. Ug. Ly. Like post earthquake hole in the earth ugly.

That's okay! It's in the oven now. Check back later for an update.

Baby's Best Friend

2011-08-15T14:21:00.001-05:00

Maggie had a little lamb (reindeer dog)
Its fur wasn't white as snow
And everywhere that Maggie went
The lamb (reindeer dog) was sure to go.

Cause there is ALWAYS good shit falling from that high chair.

You Need To Eat This

2011-08-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

Y'all.

Tonight I made an Asian-inspired salmon steak and you need this in your life. Here's what I did.

*Open a bottle of wine. Pour a big glass (We call this a "Kirkpatrick pour." As in, "Honey, how much do you want? A regular glass or a Kirkpatrick pour?" The answer is always the latter.)

*In a small bowl whisk together about 1/4 cup of soy sauce, 1/4 cup of honey, several shakes of ground ginger, two shakes of garlic powder, a bunch of sesame seeds, and either a splash of water or a splash of orange juice.

*Put your salmon steaks (with skin, deboned) in a ziploc bag (sandwich size is fine) and pour in about half of your sauce stuff. Put it in the fridge skin side up for at least 15 minutes and as long as you need to.

*Drink another glass of wine. Or two or whatever.

*Get a skillet on the stove and coat the bottom with olive oil. Put the heat on about 6 and let it get nice and hot.

*Put the salmon steaks in the skillet skin side up, pour all the liquid on them and put a lid on them. Leave them for 20 minutes or so.

When they're done just put the steaks skin side down on your plate and the meat will just peel right off. The skins are very good for dog skin and coat, by the way!

I made this tonight with bacon wrapped asparagus (preheat oven to whatever, like 325 or so, take 4 stalks of fresh asparagus and wrap in bacon, lay the little bundles on a baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with garlic, cook for 20 minutes) and quinoa (buy a package and follow the directions) and it was the best dinner we've had in a long time.

Go do it. Now.

Sorry, Y'all

2011-08-11T16:54:00.000-05:00

I am sorry to the people who are searching for "Gartenschau" and "Drumline Warmups" and end up at my blog instead. Totally not informational.

But if you need to know how bad hemorrhoids get during pregnancy or where not to go in Venice, Italy STAY HERE AND BROWSE!

Bacharach, Germany

2011-08-10T09:07:00.000-05:00

Over Matt's leave period we decided to take a bunch of day trips. He had not been to the Rhine River region so we decided to take one day to do that. We found a brochure to a mustard mill that I am really interested in that's in a village called Cochem on the Mosel River, so we wanted to tack that on to our trip.

(Yes, a mustard mill. It's the little things people. I hate ketchup so just GIVE ME THIS ONE! We had even been in the grocery store a few days before this trip and Matt said we needed mustard and I was all, "No we don't, we're going to a freaking mustard mill this weekend!")

Our plan was to take the train. There are pros and cons to taking a train in Germany, and for us the pros far outweighed the cons.

Pros: No driving, no parking, Maggie didn't have to be strapped in to the torture chair for the whole trip, we could drink as much wine as we wanted (the Rhine is famous for its wines), relatively cheap.

Cons: You're at the mercy of a train schedule.

I had figured it out so that we could leave our house around 7 am, take the train to Cochem and do the mustard thing, take the train to the beginning of the Rhine cruise I was interested in, cruise the Rhine, take the train home from the last stop on the cruise. To avoid having to buy tickets for each leg of this trip, we were going to get what's called a "State" ticket, which is 24 Euro per person to ride the train unlimited-ly within your state for a whole day. That's a pretty good deal.

I started looking at the restrictions on the Rheinland-Pfalz (our state) ticket and you can't start using it until 9am.

Screw.

That took that option out. No big deal- this means I don't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to catch a train! We would just take a later train and take an earlier Rhine cruise. We picked a day that looked like it might not rain and wouldn't be terribly cold and headed out.

I had scoured the website for the cruising company over and over. I knew the schedule, cost, location of dock, and name of the ship captain (Sven) that we would be taking. So imagine my surprise when we get to St. Goar, which was to be the beginning of our trip, and there are absolutely no boats in the river anywhere. None. I found a German guy that spoke English (well, when I asked he said "Of course!" but upon further investigation what he really meant was "I speak a good enough mix of English and hand gestures to make you mostly understand what I am saying") and asked about the schedule. It was the exact same schedule I already knew with the same prices and the same map, so I knew I was right about this. I finally got out of him that there was a barge wrecked in the middle of the river so no boats were running that day. At all. None.

Screw.

This trip was just not meant to happen.

So we rechecked the train schedule and decided to cut our losses on the Rhine and take a train to Cochem to do the mustard mill. We ate lunch and had to skip my favorite place in St. Goar- Stephan's Wine Paradise- to catch our train. While we were on the train platform waiting, it occurred to me to check the schedule for getting home from Cochem. I hadn't checked this at all since it was never in the plan to come straight home from Cochem.

I am so glad I checked. The shortest train ride was 3.5 hours. It's only a 1.5 hour drive. That was a total no-go. So we scrapped that plan and decided to take a train just up the river to a village Matt had seen on a Rick Steve's video literally minutes before we left- Bacharach. This also meant we got to go to Stephan's Wine Paradise too. Yay! I love that place.

So slightly buzzed we walked up the enormous hill, jostling the stroller over the old cobblestones and through the puddles of what can only be warm piss at the train station and ended up spending the afternoon in Bacharach, Germany on the Rhine River. If you ever get a chance to go to Bacharach, DO IT!

I didn't have the memory card to my camera so I had to take all the pictures with my iPhone, so they're pretty bad but get the job done.

A giant teddy bear made by the first company to ever make Theodore Roosevelt bears. I'm pretty sure it had the mange.

Big giant castle in Bacharach- it's now a hostel

Bacharach was occupied eight different times in less than a hundred years. That's a lot of changing hands.

This is the oldest house in Bacharach, dating back to 1368. It's now a restaurant and wine room (most of the houses are now wine tasting rooms or store fronts for all the vineyards here).

Grapes grew wild everywhere in the village

Bacharach has been the center of the Rhine wine trade for centuries because of its location on the Rhine and it's superb vineyard land. It is seriously FULL of wine.

Matt and I stumbled in to a beer brewery though. Isn't that just like us? It is a really cool place called the Kleines Braurei and it's tucked behind a theater on top of a hill. The patio is a repurposed carousel.

Wrapped in plastic 'cause it was super windy that day

Cool mirror shot

At the brewery Maggie shit herself and crawled all over the platform (not at the same time) and we tried several different beers (all German styles) when we saw a sign for beer liqueur. I was intrigued but disgusted so we ordered a small shot of it and y'all, it is like Christmas in a bottle. It has cinnamon and clove and nutmeg mixed with their doppelbock and it was so good we bought a whole bottle. With little glasses.

We were beer-happy and carefree and decided to take a later train so we could stop at one last place to sample the wine and have a little snack. We struggled with the German menu a bit with our German waitress until she showed us the English portion of the menu. Oh. Haha.

*****Here's something that kept happening: I know very little (comparatively speaking) German, but my accent is pretty good. I know this because when I order things I know how to say, or exchange in pleasantries the person with whom I'm conversing assumes I speak German and begins speaking very quickly. Also Nicola tells me all the time my accent is good and makes me repeat words back to her again and again until I get them exactly right and most of the time I really have no idea what the difference in my pronunciation and hers is, I just keep saying it until she lets it go.

Example:
Old Lady Right Outside The Train Station: Ah, blah blah blah BABY blah blah blah SPECK blah blah blah GUCK, GUCK! Ist madchen?

Me: (Hey, I know what madchen is!) Ya, ist ein madchen!

Lady: Blah, blah, blah, sext jahre, drei jahre, blah, blah, blah, junge, blah, blah, blah.

Me: (Hey, she's telling me about her grandkids!) Sie ist neun monat! (Maggie is actually ten months but I forgot the word for ten for a second so I went with nine.)

Lady: Blah, blah, blah.

Me: *Smile and nod* I am sure she thinks I'm incredibly rude.

Lady: Aaaaaahhhhh, you are American!

Me, relieved I can give up the charade now: YES! I am!

Lady, in English: Your baby is as beautiful as the sun! And some other stuff

END TANGENT*****

We ate some salami, cheese and bread and drank more wine and tried grappa (hard liquor distilled from grape skins) (AKA grossa or disgusting) and headed to the train station.

We really wanted to pop open one of the bottles of wine we'd bought that day but neglected to procure a corkscrew. Matt found a really sharp stick but it didn't work like a corkscrew, so he tried "Accio cork!" and that also didn't work, but a train did come right after that.

Accio Locomotive!

Beer

2011-08-05T04:48:00.002-05:00

Hey, this is my 600th post! I saved this one for a very important topic that is near and dear to my heart:

Beer.

The main reason I want to talk about beer is because I keep asking for American beers and the response I unilaterally get is, "Wait, don't you live in Germany? Aren't they famous for beer?"

Yes, they are famous for beer. The thing they are famous about is their love, respect, and purity of beer. There are three big misconceptions about German beer I first want to clear up.

1) All German beer is dark.

*EEEEEHHHHHHH!* <---------- annoying buzzer sound

Some German beer is dark, but I wouldn't even say most. Beer in Germany is somewhat seasonal, so if I walked in to a grocery store right now looking for a dunkel or a doppelbock I probably wouldn't find it, since it's summer time.

2) German beer is served warm

*WROOOOOOONG!*

I have never been served a warm beer. Ever. Well, not on purpose. (What up, bought some beer but forgot to put it in the fridge but want to drink it RIGHT NOW!) (Not that that has ever happened to me) (It has. A lot.) It is true that some beers are meant to be chilled colder than others, but in general the beer is definitely served cold.

3) German beer is waaaaaay stronger than other beer

*LIE!*

Some types of German beers are stronger. As an example, a doppelbock (double bock) has more alcohol and calories because monks drank it to keep nourished during fasting. But your run-of-the-mill pilsner or wheat beer is going to have roughly the same amount of alcohol as a Miller Lite or a Bud Light, at around 4.5% There is a HUGE market in Germany for non-alcoholic beer as well.

Now, why do I always ask for American or Belgian or English beers? Germans are VERY particular about beer. There is a German beer law called Reinheitsgebot that dates back to the 15th century governing what can and cannot go in to beer. It's pretty simple: Beer may only have four ingredients- yeast, water, barley, and hops.

You would be surprised how many different kinds of beer you can make with these ingredients. There are a couple dozen different types of German beers. But I've found that they all taste very similar (even between breweries) and it's hard to find a good ol' American Ale, like a Sweetwater, a Yazoo, or yes, a Sierra Nevada.

I could go on and on and on about beer styles. I'm not an expert, but I've tried a LOT of different beers and have learned a lot about how they're made, how they're distributed, and how what makes a beer "good." If you are truly interested in why I'll hardly ever buy beer at an American grocery store, see the documentary Beer Wars.

If you are interested in learning more about the different styles of German beers, go here.

If you want to taste a real German beer and you live in the US, pick up a Warsteiner (pronounced Vah-shtine-er). Please do not buy a Blue Moon and think you are drinking a "good" wheat beer. Also, please do not buy a New Castle and think you have eclectic taste in beer or "only like the good stuff."

Yes, I'm a beer snob.

Banned Camp

2011-08-01T09:38:00.001-05:00

This is the first time in fifteen years I haven't been at a scorching hot band camp or two or three.

Even the summer I went to basic training I went to one and taught at two.

That's a lot of drill.

I am craving wet grass, drumline warmups, and temple block counting.

Nice Rack

2011-07-31T14:14:00.000-05:00

The other day I spotted some baby back ribs on sale at the commissary for 99 cents a pound, so I bought three racks. I have never cooked ribs before. I have only ever witnessed my dad cook ribs in a big giant grill and basting them with some unknown concoction with a mop.

That's right. I've seen meat basted with a mop. I am from Alabama, y'all.

So what did we do? We invited people over, of course! Our first rib venture was sure to be a failure so why not share it with five of our closest friends?

Matt and I both scoured the internet for ideas on how to get this thing done. Apparently you have to remove a membrane? and do a dry rub? and put them in the oven AND the grill?

The ribs turned out FANTASTIC! We did not remove the membrane (should have) and we did not finish them in the oven (should have) but they were so, so good. Here is what we did.

How to grill baby back ribs:
*Remove the tough membrane on one side of the rack. How? I have no idea. I worked on it for literal seconds and only got a half inch off.

*Get your coals ready. Make it a lot.

*Prepare a dry rub. Here's mine

3 Tbs. paprika
3 Tbs. chili powder
2 Tbs. salt
2 tsp. garlic powder
1 Tbs. brown sugar
1 tsp. dry mustard powder

I don't like things spicy so I did not add cayenne pepper, which would probably make this much yummier for normal people.

*Rub both sides of your rack(s) of ribs liberally.

*Put a pan of water in the back of your grill, right next to the coals.

*Put your ribs on the grill over the pan of water, not the coals.

*Start drinking and keep drinking for about 2 hours, every now and then checking on the ribs and declaring manly things, "Hell yeah, that's a f*$%ing cut of meat there!" and "Damn, son, this smells fantastic!"

*Coat with barbecue sauce and cook for another hour or so.

*Eat them thangs.

And here is my barbecue sauce recipe- it's a tangy, mustard and vinegar based sauce:

1 cup yellow mustard (I've used spicy brown before with similar results)
1/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup water
2 Tbs chili powder
several pinches fresh ground black pepper
cayenne pepper to taste (again, I don't use any because I don't like hot things)

Simmer all this together for 30 minutes or so, then add a few splashes of soy sauce, a Tbs or so of butter, and liquid smoke if you like it. I do. Simmer for 10 more minutes.

Yum.

Matt's Hair

2011-07-30T06:14:00.000-05:00

Matt's hair has long been a fascination of mine. When I first saw him in marching band in 2000 I was immediately drawn to his curly head of hair. He wore it big in those days too. He had a big ol' Jew-fro even though he is not Jewish, not even a little bit.

He also maintained on his driver's license that he was blond until a year or so ago. Uh, yeah buddy. Maybe in 1986.

Matt used to let me clip his hair with the clippers but has since invested the $10 a month in haircuts because I did this once:

And he ended up like this:

Wooooooops.

Lately I've been noticing more and more, ahem, blond hairs in Matt's head.

And over this 2 week leave, Matt grew a beard for the first time in his life. He isn't really able to grow hair from where the "mustache" would be to where the "beard" would be, but he wanted to see what it would look like.

This is after 2 weeks.

Geeze, someone needs to clean that nasty mirror!

Can you see it? His "beard"?

Not a bad showing for 2 weeks, I guess.

It seems that these "blond" (ahem, gray) hairs have infiltrated his "beard" too. That's a huge one right under my fingernail.

Boy, do I miss these days!

Classy shirt, Kirkpatrick.

Month Ten

2011-07-28T14:21:00.000-05:00

Dear Maggie,

Oh, darling girl, this month has been fabulous! This has definitely been my favorite month yet- I know I say that every month, but it just gets better and better.

This month you started swim lessons at the indoor pool on base. Mommy sucks at packing, so I left your swim suit and swim diaper in the US and didn't discover this fact until the morning of swim lessons. So we borrowed a swim diaper from a baby boy and you didn't wear a swim suit but it turned out to be okay because all the babies wore little tiny wetsuits the first day.

We bought you a swim suit after that lesson, and the next day we received the box of clothes I left in the States, but I like your new swim suit better anyway. And your little boxer robe.

This month you are on the move! We had to get a gate to keep you out of the kitchen because all the previously innocuous items near the floor have turned pretty, well, nocuous. Bottom drawer pantries are now finger-smashers. The gelbe sack for our recycling is now a baby-choker. The dog food bowls are now drowning-pools and mess-makers.

You still only have two bottom teeth, but with the amount of drooling and pooping going on, I think the top two are on the way!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl

Your growth has evened out, and you have not gained weight in a couple of months. But not to fear- you have gained some height and you are slimming up like you're supposed to! And now I don't have to buy new clothes every two weeks. You are in a size 12 month.

Manipulative crying. It's the right thing to do.

You learned to clap this month, and wave, and make a motion like you're weight lifting. We are not sure if you're asking for more or just exercising, but we say "Yaaaaaay!" every time anyway.

"Is this authentic Austrian crystal?"

This month you have travelled to Austria, Italy, France again, and several places in Germany. Don't worry- we're staying put for the next few weeks!

You can "say" some words like "Mama," "Dada," "Nana," "Gaga," and what we are pretty sure is actually "Hi!" None of these are on purpose but we are trying like mad to get you to connect something to a word.

You are such a great baby. We cannot say this enough. You are a great traveller, you will let anybody hold you or play with you, you're an awesome sleeper and eater, and you never get sick.

(Cue meltdowns, stranger anxiety, insomnia, picky eating, and yellow fever.)

WHAT THE HELL COLOR ARE THESE EYES????

Another skill you've added is unassisted standing. We have tried so much to keep you from walking, but many times you are holding on to something, you let go for several seconds to investigate a toy, experiment with gravity, or get away from Daddy.

Baby Girl, you are the best baby that ever lived. You are chill, happy, smiley, chatty, beautiful, and perfect. We love you so much and we cannot believe what a wonderful little girl you are becoming. Please slow down (or just stop) the growing up!

Love,

Mama

Get The Ball Rolling

2011-07-26T06:36:00.003-05:00

Salzburg

2011-07-25T04:16:00.000-05:00

As a preface to the Salzburg story- I should tell you the conversation I had with my clarinet student last week.

Me: So, have you ever played any solos before? You know, ones written just for clarinet?

Student: Um, well, I think so? Sort of? My teacher gave me this thing by um, Moze-art?

Me: Moze-art? Really? Do you eat peeze-a? Aren't you in German class in school?

Student: Yeah...

Me: You know how to say the German z's! I tell you what, I'm going to Salzburg tomorrow, where Mozart was born. I'm going to go to his grave and tell him you pronounced it like that and you're going to be cursed forever working on Moze-art!

For the record, it's pronounced Zaltsburg.

Ahem. Anyway.

When we arrived in Salzburg Friday night Maggie had had enough in the car seat and she was freaking out a little bit, so I went in to check us in to the hotel while Matt talked to Maggie and got the car cleaned up a little. I approached the front desk lady and gave her my name.

There's always this moment for me when I get nervous. At the grocery store, no matter how much money I KNOW is in our account, I get nervous when I swipe the card. At the doctor's office I get nervous that I'm there on the wrong day or time. At hotels I'm nervous that they don't have my reservation. This happened at Jekyll Island, but it turned out they had saved our reservation under Kirk Patrick. As in first name Kirk, last name Patrick. Glad we got that straightened out.

So imagine my horror when she asked me for my confirmation number because she couldn't seem to find my reservation. I knew I had made one because I got 2 emails from hotels.com confirming my stay. I checked my email that I had saved to my phone because you can't use your iPhone out of Germany unless you LIKE paying $50/minute for data and realized that I had, in fact, made a reservation.

For the next night.

Screw.

I apologized profusely to the desk clerk and she checked with her supervisor and they just changed our reservation to that night with no extra fees or anything crazy like that. We even managed to get a room with a separate hallway to put Maggie's crib in so we wouldn't have to sit in the dark like crazy people after she went to sleep.

After a quick dinner at the hotel restaurant (not too expensive, and empty so it didn't matter that Maggie was crawling all over the place), Maggie went to bed and we planned our day in Salzburg.

The next morning we went and met my friend Kelly, who I know from waaaaay back in 2002 when we worked at the International Music Camp on the border of North Dakota and Canada. We were librarians (and kitchen servers, and registration workers, and dinosaur-costume-builders) and it was such a fun summer. The camp was rustic and times were simpler (oh, to be twenty again). Oh, look, a picture! Aren't you glad I found this, KELLY??

I cannot for the life of me remember the girl's name on the right. Kelly and I have kept in touch over the last 9 years (9 years?!?!) through sporadic emails and blogs.

Anyway, Kelly did an excellent job of recording our trip, so I'm going to skip my boring words in favor of Kelly's fantastic prose and pictures. You can find what we actually did on our day in Salzburg HERE.

I will throw in a few more pictures:

You may be wondering why Matt and I are wearing the same clothes from the day before and why everyone else in our pictures is wearing long sleeves and our 0-year-old is wearing a t-shirt. That would be because I pack really stupid. (You see, the shirt I had packed for this day had somehow gotten much shorter, just like the rest of my shirts [??? JK it's because I'm fat] and the jeans I brought are the second-to-last pair that fit, but they are Mom jeans and I didn't want to be all walking around in Mom jeans with a too-short-shirt and I was simply not thinking of the weather when I chose Maggie's outfit and luckily she had socks in the diaper bag. I can't attest to Matt's wardrobe choice.)

Waiting to hear the glockenspiel in Residenz Platz

Creeptastic tomb in the catacombs
that were built in to a rock wall

Some sort of arboretum with a Magic
Flute player and this statue was
endowed if you know what I mean

The Kirkpatricks at Mirabell Gardens

After visiting the church and having the sweet old Catholic lady take our picture, we parted ways and we headed back in the rain to find our car. I had lost our original, good map somewhere along the way and now only had this monstrosity of a map that didn't have the same landmarks on it and had been rained on so much it was turning to pulp in my hands. So we got a little turned around a couple of times. But we made it back to the car and headed to the Stiegl brewery.

All about beer tomorrow!

Neuschwanstein Castle

2011-07-24T08:12:00.000-05:00

We organized a quick trip to Salzburg, Austria to meet up with my friend Kelly, which you'll hear about later. On the way down someone suggested we stop in Hohenschwanstein and visit King Ludwig II's famous abode, Neuschwanstein castle. I am pretty sure I visited this castle in high school but I have zero recollection of it. You might know this as the castle Disney based the Magic Kingdom castle on.

We rolled in to Neuschwanstein at around 2:30. I new strollers were a no-go in the castle and on the walk up so Matt strapped Maggie on and we headed to the ticket counter.

All the pictures are bad because it was drizzly and cold all day.

Upon some investigation we realized that the next tour of the castle wasn't until three hours later and I honestly had no desire to wait around that long. We had a beer (of course we did!) at one of the biergartens and decided to go ahead and walk up to the castle, even though you can't actually go in it without a ticket.

Self portrait fail

There are 2 castles, but only one cool one

You can take a carriage ride up. We didn't.

So we started walking. It was raining and cool, but not cold, and the walk was very steep. Some carriages passed us, but one carriage passed us, then we passed it because the walk was so steep those poor horses just gave up.

We were highly rewarded once we got to the top. The views were spectacular and the fog from the rain made it eerie and breathtaking.

Giddyup, Daddy.

Rainy, rainy day

*Twilight Zone music*

We walked around the castle some and Maggie was accosted by tourists. Again. This happens constantly. What do these people do with the pictures they take of her?

"Here's a castle. Here's a horse and carriage. Here's a random bald white baby."

I'm going to start charging for pictures with her.

Alternatively captioned "Hello, boobie!"

Next time we go, we will actually go in to the castle. I remember it having a cool story and I did a little "research" (notice I'm using that term loosely) on it before we got there. But since I went to Europe in high school and my boyfriend was on the trip too, I don't remember anything except hurrying to get back on the bus so I could go back to sleep/make out with my boyfriend or getting back to a hotel so I could *gasp* drink a beer.

If you're reading this, Mama, I TOTALLY LEARNED A TON on that trip and your money was well spent. Promise.

We trekked back down to the mountain via a shortcut (where the hell was this on the way up???) and got in the car for the 2 hours to Salzburg. Where we arrived to learn we did not actually have a reservation at the hotel.

Yippee!!!

Through The Seasons

2011-07-21T14:25:00.000-05:00

Our back yard in January was beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful.

The field was muddy and the little pond was full.

Then the green grass grew all around and around.

We needed a way to keep it in check.

Nicola is a septuagenarian.

We have no lawnmower.

But.... the neighbor has sheep (yep, these are some breed of African sheep that don't produce wool and will eat nearly anything).

So we opened the gate between our yards and the sheep take care of it now.

Baaaaa! Rammmm! Ewe!

The sheep safely graze. Until Roxy chases them away.

After the rain. Untouched because I can't work Photoshop.

An hour or so after the previous photo was taken.

Farm livin' is the life for me.

(How many pop culture references did YOU get?)

The Potter Post

2011-07-20T06:07:00.000-05:00

Last night we went to see the final installment of the Harry Potter movies, and I am embarrassed to say I was an emotional mess. I never did cry (I think pregnancy dulled my emotions) but I had a lump in my throat and I was just... a mess.

First of all, let me point out that somewhere on the internet years ago I read a funny bit about the Potter movies and books instructing fans to insert the word "wang" every time they said "wand." That just about makes the movies and books unbearable to me. I giggle inwardly like a child in church (what- you never got the giggles with your siblings at church when you were little?) until I can't possibly laugh much more.

***************POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW****************

For some reason I have this ability (insane tendency) to translate many movies, TV shows, and songs in to social commentary that freak me the hell out. When Hogwarts was being blown up I couldn't help but wonder WHAT IF THIS HAPPENS IN GERMANY AGAIN?!?! Or the US at some point? What is she trying to tell us?????

Then I couldn't stop relating Harry to Jesus. He was willing to give his life for everyone else, and even though I'm no longer religious (but spent my entire childhood and adolescence learning about Christianity) it made me understand the whole "Jesus died for all of us" thing. I know, that's crazy. I'm not going to go in to a religious discussion- just want you all to know how effed up my brain is and I DON'T EVEN DO DRUGS, people.

I wondered briefly what it would be like if they could all just text each other instead of sending those damn owls out all the time. Um, can't our iPhones do almost as much as their wands? I'm pretty sure there's a wand (wang) app for that.

Then I was glad they are all wizards and didn't have to use tractors and stuff to clean up the castle mess. They could just *magic* it back together. Think green!

I decided I really want Professor McGonagall to be either my teacher or Grandmother, but since I have Nicola I guess I'll settle for teacher.

One of my Facebook friends posted something about Snape's love story being the mother-of-all love stories and transcending time, revolution, and planes, and I agree. I found myself being a little bit in love with him before the end of the movie. Don't tell Justin Timberlake I'm celebrity-cheating on him.

Go see the movie. It's totally worth it!

Chex Mix-Up

2011-07-17T08:29:00.000-05:00

I haz Chex

You want Chex?

Must! Not! Eat! Chex!

I haz mor Chex.

I need six Chex in one hand. You want a Chex, Mama?

There is prize?

Dig a little deeper

I'll get Chex for Rox

Yoga In German Is Yoga

2011-07-14T05:35:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned, I went to a German yoga class the other day. I'm going back tonight, but I thought I'd tell you what happened at the first class so you can get the mental image in your head of what it looked like for me.

Here's the situation when I walk in:

Look Ma, no hands! And the lady beside me has no arms!

I don't like to think about how much I stick out as an American, but it was totally obvious here. Everyone else is in calf length, spandex yoga pants, very tight tank tops, and they were all wearing black. I was in full length yoga pants, a bright orange, old as dirt Auburn T-shirt, and was a bit chubbier than most women. They all spoke German, as you can see by my illustration above.

I was supposed to be waiting for a friend, who never showed up, so I wallflowered it in the corner checking things out, when I was approached by a small, gray-haired lady who said, in English, "If you're looking for the perfect spot, you better grab that one or else you'll have to be on the second row." She walked away and went to her mat and started doing every complicated pose you could ever imagine. I hate those kinds of people.

The instructor (who you could bounce quarters off of every body part) showed up and everyone was sitting in a circle around a lit candle (which smelled fantastic and every time I thought, Oh shit, I can't do this one, I got a whiff of the candle and felt better. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, CANDLE.) and she began chatting with the other ladies. In German. I know a little German. Enough to order at a restaurant, buy groceries, and ask polite questions, but this way moving very fast and suddenly everyone was laughing. One of the ladies looked at another lady and said, in English, "Do you understand what just happened?"

Another American! Yay! But she had been to the class before and knew how to dress and how to fit in, apparently. They explained the joke to her, then the instructor turned her attention to me. After some pleasantries, the class was under way.

You know, I'm kind of glad my friend wasn't there the first time. Although I used to go to a strenuous yoga class twice a week and I know most poses, it's kind of a self-conscious thing for me. I HATE sitting in a room of people with my eyes closed, and I know I look silly attempting the poses, and I get VERY self-conscious. So it was good that this was a room full of strangers because I could just let go and do it the way I know how without worrying about someone I know looking at me. Now I'm broken in and I don't mind if anyone sees me.

I quickly realized that my forty-year-old t-shirt was too big to be wearing to yoga class because I kept having to interrupt my down-dog to hitch it down. I decided to stop caring about it, but then we got in to a position where everyone was facing the inside of the circle and my belly was hanging out like a risen loaf of bread dough with a hole in the middle and someone made a comment in German and everyone laughed, and the commenter said, "What? That's all I'm saying," in English and I thought they were talking about me so I continued to hitch down my shirt after each pose.

Down dog.

Hitch shirt.

Sun salutation sequence.

Hitch shirt.

Toe touch from standing.

Hitch shirt.

Later I SWEAR I heard the instructor say the word "Auburn" as it would have been pronounced in German and everyone looked at me.

At the end, we did my favorite part where you lie on your mat flat on your back breathing and relaxing each body part from head to toe. Then we sat up and they actually started "OOOOOOOOHHHHHMMMMM"- ing and my self-conscious-ness came back so I just acted like I didn't know what to do. I might try it next time, but I'll probably be too embarrassed.

The instructor came to me afterward and we chatted. She's super nice and I can't wait to go back tonight, but then she's on a 3 week vacation. I better bust out that prenatal yoga video I bought and open the packaging, I guess!